Gonna digress a little before we begin...
New recruits are coming soon! We gotta be on the tip of our toes and the toes of our tips people! Come on! Sing with me!! SILVER BALLS! SILVER BALLS! IT'S DOLLAR NINETY AT THE TITTY CLUB! SEE THEM DANCE! IN MY PANTS!... you get the gist of it...
We gotta work hard! Work smart! And work soon... it's gonna be baa~aad if we don't. Let me tell you what'd we'd be doing if we don't get these recruits...
We won't get new people to bully(I'm done with the old ones)... we don't get more sound(I always like more screaming... the louder the better)... and worst of all, NO FUTURE!! WHAT WILL WE DO WITH NO CRAZY PARTIES AND LATE DINNERS!? WHAT WILL WE DO!? Probably alot better actually... hmm... but who knows... I've always wanted to hang a sanitary pad banner...
Then of course we have to worry about Hope dragging us to other useless and altogether pointless event... She's done enough... First with the NDOC... *flashback*...
~*~
ENTHUSIASTIC GIRL 1: Maybe we can all jump out like THIS(action) and then do THIS(waves arms) and then TADA!(flails like a maniac and swings head in circles.)
ENTHUSIASTIC BOY 1: Yea! Then we'd be like those Campus Superstar Idols!*note
EVERYONE ELSE(who is insane): ALRIGHT! LET'S DO IT!
KENNETH: (muttering) Hey, if you wanna look like complete retards... fine by me, maybe foam abit in the mouth... claim you're Hitler... it'd go with the dance steps...
ENTHUSIASTIC GIRL 2: Best friend number 73? C'mon! Best friends, singing together, and, Best Friends! Sing along people! ... ...
RANDOM PERSON: (crying in desperation)Our father, who art in heaven...
*The day is long...*
~*~
*Shudders*
Hate that... Our first and last(I hope..). experience with the Superstar Cast... damn that guy couldn't even snap his fingers properly...
And of course who could forget NDOC day... *flashback music...*
~*~
LEAD 1: Springtime~ for Hitler~ and Germany~!
Oops... wrong song...
LEAD 1: ... the Thames, UK...
KENNETH: (muttering, again...) Alright... wave your hands, Kenneth... act as if this is something worth smiling for... and that someone out there can hear us sing... Matthew... stop waving your hands... not gonna help, big guy... okay... sway left... sway right... wow... Joanna's doing it really well... or it could be from a heat stroke...
Now jump like a star! Yea... it's over... that was the most pointless thing EVER... like EVER... Moses splitting the sea, yea pointless, but still dramatic... Jesus healing cripples... that wasn't pointless... that was just rude... NOW who're we gonna make fun of...
Okay maybe Hitler committing genocide was slightly close to this... but who can blame him? Damn Jews... America nuking Japan? Pointless... but cool... bid DICK-shaped bomb... awesome...
Nope... nothing comes close to as pointless as this... this is the EPIPHANY of pointless... the PRIMORDIAL SOUP of pointless... the ROLYE ROYCE of pointless... with this event, the word POINTLESS now covers 98% of the dictionary... you get my point... no pun intended... none given either... it's pointless... but hey, at least I got a cool cloth Singapore flag...
~*~
I lost my cloth flag a day later...
But that was fine... we actually got to participate in the thing... now comes the principal farewell...
~*~
WEI XIN: Okay people, from the top...
KENNETH: (singing)
Don't lose your gay
with each passing day
You came so far
Please clear~ it away...
*choke* Stop! Russel! Stop strangling me! *choke* Wei Xin, help! No! Not him! Me! *fades to silent*
~*~
Ok I admit the singing sessions to prepare this was fun... 'words are spraying... someone is splaying'... ah... so fun...
But who to know that we wouldn't sing... the *shivers*... H-... that H-... Ho-... the one in the disgusting black stockings**note who danced like a lamp post told us we couldn't sing... due to 'cutting down' purposes...
Fine... in companies, I understand... saving resources... cutting manpower... but this???
If she's gonna sign us up for the next event, something like, "Autism Investiture", and ask us to sing summat like "Heal the world"... I'm so gonna shove her stockings up her ass... read **
Okay, I've run out of topics to rant about. Done with the mandatory issues. Now to fun!
Digressing a little here today... little thing about Galleria Music School's 15th Anniversary School Event Concert thingy...
So our reporters, namely me, went down to the Esplanade today, to check out this school event... why you ask? Because they blackmailed our choir member into playing in their twisted idea of a concert...
Rule of thumb 1: A pianist who uses the sustain pedal must be vertical enough to reach for it when he/she is sitting on the stool.
Here's the interesting thing. They bring 5 year olds... 5 YEAR OLDS, out to play. Now the stool of the Steinway(ooh~) was completely screwed down. Yes, that is how it's done... don't think so far, that's not the funny bit...
So the stool is at it's lowest... and half the toddlers performing have to CLIMB the stool(yes, like freakin' Mount Everest...) to get a seat, and their legs are barely long enough to even spill out over the front of the chair... damn... what are they thinking!?
Stand, for god sakes... oh wait... no... they can't reach the keys if they do... tsk... look... the little boy walked behind the piano, and I could see his full head, BELOW THE PIANO... so I'm not exaggerating here...
Rule of thumb 2: Anytime before the concert, the pianist is advised to LEARN THE NOTES of the song he/she is playing.
Yes... that's what happened... she lost her notes... not Joanna of course... and had to side read... yes... very bad... bad bad bad...
Rule of thumb 3: If your surname is Bigot***note, don't expect anyone to take you seriously. It doesn't help if you are blond and in Singapore. Neither does it help if you had FOUR GOD DAMN FREAKING NAMES...
I just had to add that... for fun... I found Violette Bigot Clemence Louise to be really entertaining to watch... and her sister too... Camille...
Now what happened? The first child gets everything, yes of course, that is a standard household children keeping rule, but even the names? Couldn't you parents afford your second daughter a name or two more? YOU GAVE THE LAST ONE FOUR!!!! Sheesh... parents these days... saving money for everything...
Rule of thumb 5: For a concert to be successful, it'd sure help as hell if you were pretty.
All the pretty girls' songs were good. I didn't know what they played, but they were really good... warmed up the piano just fine... they did... rubbing their _____ (fine boobs/ delicate fingers)... against the ________ (hard wood/ soft keys)... either way... it was an erotic experience... yes random again of course... Hubba hubba...
Rule of thumb 4: Be pretty, it helps... cause even I forgot the last number... it was, in actuality, a real mistake... I really was thinking of the pretty girls...
So inside the Recital Studio, I remembered Matthew had 2 ticks from Joanna... and I looked... and Lo and Behold! The Great Lord Matthew! Accompanied by her highness(literally), Laughing Yan Ting!
Interesting really... in between her laughing spasms, Yan Ting can really come up with decent, intelligent conversations...:) Here's what we talked about...
YAN TING: (On the way to the toilet, saw me standing at the counter of Chocz) Hmm... chocolates?
KENNETH: Yea. "No, I'm waiting for my macaroni and cheese..."
YAN TING: For Joanna?
KENNETH: Yea, 'course. "No, my hamster gave birth and I'm it's a gift for her babies as a 1st day-old baby celebration... we're holding a small party inside their cage, BBQ and all..."****
Yes she meant well... but at times I marvel at other's needs to initiate conversations with people they meet... ah well...
Joanna played well... the noisy 'I'm British' guy behind me cheered for her, which meant that she played good... 'I'm British' cause when someone finishes playing a good song, he'd go, "Marvelous!" "Absolutely Fantastic!" "Gorgeous!" "That was great!" "Absolutely astounding performance!" All really loudly, to his wife perhaps, all in a fake British accent...
And that's all for today, actually... let me end with a couple of words...
Nick. Fling. Pranny. Canto. Floo. Yea, Dumbledore style, baby...
*I don't know any Campus Superstar winners thus I could not continue further with the utter and total humiliation of that topic. Too bad...
**Dear Hope, if you are reading this right now, the events do not specifically refer to you. All written here is totally fictional. Any relation to real life people and real cases whatsoever are totally coincidental... usually...
***Bigot: One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ.
****Brain talk, I can't help but run things through my mind just for fun. No offense meant, hor, Yan Ting??
Memories...
Hmm... it's been really slow moving... and so... I'd like to share some of the memories we've had in choir... here's the first... it must've been the most fun... It was Matthew's bday! Haha... that was a great one... haha... I might do up more... these are really quite fun to do! Haha... good old times...
Highness...
Aaaand... It's me! The unholy one! Here to bring you news that'd sound weirder in a year! It's a Tuesday and it's a rather late update for us peeps...
Concert... post concert... sanitary pads... condoms... pot luck... and fun with props!
~Concert Day~
The SP Choir, recently held a concert at the VCH, 23rd September 2007. Ever since this choir formed back earlier in the year, we have all been working hard for this concert... and finally... it happened!
The first half of the concert featured foreign pieces, which names would tie your tongue tighter than peter piper picking pickles... ridiculously long spanish song titles like "Amor que une con el amor grandisimo", which meant the love that binds the greatest love, which is fundimentally redundant to say, *he looks up the dictionary. Under redundant, it says 'see: redundant'*
Look... we don't know spanish... the audience didn't know spanish... we were essentially... spanishless... and still... we sang... for the love of god... we sang... we had sung this song for ever... and it would be a total waste to not let the audience hear it... though from their contorted faces, they were trying to spot english amongst the gabber jabber...
Then... the four fifths of the 5 hebrew love songs were done... we left out the bong bong song, cause our alto section just seemed to in sync with each other... which is a good thing... the song was bad...
Little applause we had... till the Ngee Ann people came out... they did the horse saddle song and Oh Danny Boy. One of the reasons why we didnt do the 4th hebrew song was cause the NP choir was also doing a bong bong song... the horse saddle one... ew... won't mention nothing... they're not bad... they got a louder applause than the songs we did... oh well... they've been doing this song since ages ago... so it's expected...
Then combined!! We just sang... we lost consciousness at this point... and we were all set to autopilot... sang and sang and sang... till the end of the first half...
Denise came backstage to say goodbye at this point... she had to leave for New York the next day so couldn't blame her... at this point in time... Wei Xin was "It's too bad Denise can't stay for our second half..." But in twenty minutes from then... his opinion on that matter changed entirely...
For the second half... Xing! came out first... Secret Garden sounded really good backstage... then it was time for Wei Xin's and Matthew's "Lily's eyes"... it went... pleasantly well...
I apologise at this point... cause I've lost all highness in the matter... so this is just my mind's dairy of the thing... we did our three pieces... I got beaten up by Joe... for my solo... I snapped... oh well...
I more or less forgot what happened after that till the end of the concert... Wei Xin proposed... we all hailed Joe... exhausted... disbelief it was ending... who knew...
At the end, we did our encore... Joe sang with us! Then... headed backstage to pack up... flowers... pictures... CHOCOLATE!! Yea... Denise brought chocs from her previous business trip, if I'm not wrong... she really shouldn't have... but yea! Brussel Chocs!
We headed our seperate ways... Matthew, Wei Xin and I headed to Makan Sutra to eat with a couple of their friends... along with Sha... Wei xin bought 2 plates of food... I bought $10 worth of cockles! Whee... highness! Now this story has been circulating, thanks to Wei Xin but I'll still put it up anyway... here's what happened...
*Picks up one to chew*
Kenneth: Bleah... this one's bad...
Melissa: Ew... spit it out!
Kenneth: Naw, I'm still chewing... *continues gnawing*
Then I met my match... 30-40 odd cockles later, I picked a huge one to eat... turned out bad... couldn't take it... so I spat it out... not a pretty sight... moving on...
~An hour later~
Walking home... Wei Xin and I had some fun with the roads...
Tired shitless... I trudged across a really long road... the green man turned red, and I, seeing it changed, stopped, in the middle of the road. Now this was 1am in the morning, mind you... after our concert... we were all piss-drunk, high, and generally mental by this time... it simply didn't occure to me that I should continue walking... I'm following the law after all...
Then, 10 minutes later, being much higher, I decided to lie on the road... now this was for fun... but it didn't really last cause as soon as I put my head down, a car sped towards me... never did the word "Car!" mean so much as to that moment... after that one, Wei Xin decided to sit on
road to wait for the next car... and so we did... and finally, when we were done, we headed back to sleep... school was about to start in 5 hours...
~Monday, the high day~
Now, not that we were drunk... just that after the concert we just wanted to do crazy things... let's make a list...
- Pot Luck
- Pre-Pot luck Preparations
- Pot Luck itself
Alright... not that huge a list... but briefly... in about another thousand words, I'll try to describe what happened...
"Pot luck is on! Everyone bring food tomorrow! Alright!" Pictures didn't do the concert just... so this was a first... and it was on...
Joanna "I'll be buying cakee!"
Mark "Curry Puffs!"
Kenneth "Drinks and balloons! Banners and shit!" *Note: balloons didn't happen... shit happened, though...
And so, we all went around to get various stuff for Pot Luck! Yay!
Ahem... we all ended school early... our booth was essentially, boothless... love to use that line... posters gone, cloth dissapeared... we were booth-napped! So... with the whole afternoon to kill, and odd trio, Kenneth, Wei Xin and Nicole, headed to Clementi for lunch... little did we know... lunch was just the beginning...
Odd ideas started popping into our minds... Wei Xin went on about his own chain of food stalls called "Surprise!" Chicken Surprise! What's the surprise? It's beef! Chicken embedded in a cake, and ice cream embedded in chickens! On and on... awesomeness...
All I wanted to do was to say "Hi!" to random people off the streets... nothing much...
So... lunch... Wei Xin had ordered Milo bing without bing... bing=ice, for those dumb ones... then I didn't know what to eat... so here's the conversation that went on with me and the store owner...
"Hi, can I help you?"
"What's good to eat...?"
"Try the spaghetthi."
"Er... okay... do you think I should get chicken chops or beef chops?"
"Chicken chop."
"Beef chop it is..."
"How do you want it done?"
"Raw..."
"... You mean medium rare?"
"I said 'raw'... alright... medium rare would do..."
Amazingly, he didn't flinch at all when we did this... he must get that alot... The beef came extra crispy... he cooked the shit out of it... medium rare... wow...
But of course... it wasn't the end...
We went to NTUC... bought drinks and chips... here's the conversation with the cashier...
"Nets or cash?"
"How much is it...?"
"$10.65 please."
"Er... great... here's a 10... here's a 10 cents... 5 cents... good..."
At this point, I wondered why she didn't take the money... Nicole then put a 50 cents on the table and she took it all...
"Nicole... why did you give her 50 cents? I wanted abit of coins in my pocket..."
*dumbstruck*
And so we stood there, for about half a minute... just waiting... wondering why she didn't give me change... then wondered why she was serving other people... then...
"OOOH.... I thought there was change..."
Confused... we left...
Thinking back now... it still seemed like a dream... we lived a dream that day... though... we're sure it's not a dream...
Wei Xin: Let's get sanitary pads for banner!
Kenneth: That's like the coolest la!
So to Watsons we headed, and bought Sanitary pads... and somewhere along the way condoms and hello panda... whee... now after leaving the store did the gravity of the situation hit us...
Wei Xin: Shit... the highness of the whole thing is wearing off now...
Kenneth: Yea... now what do we do with the condoms...
No balloons that night... Oh well...
Pot luck came and went... I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed myself... though I don't know if I can say the same to the rest... cake... curry puff... drinks... sweets... other things... forfeits... small games... funness... haha... oh well...
Well... that's just about enough I can take today... we had fun with the condoms... at least I did... oh well...
Concert... post concert... sanitary pads... condoms... pot luck... and fun with props!
~Concert Day~
The SP Choir, recently held a concert at the VCH, 23rd September 2007. Ever since this choir formed back earlier in the year, we have all been working hard for this concert... and finally... it happened!
The first half of the concert featured foreign pieces, which names would tie your tongue tighter than peter piper picking pickles... ridiculously long spanish song titles like "Amor que une con el amor grandisimo", which meant the love that binds the greatest love, which is fundimentally redundant to say, *he looks up the dictionary. Under redundant, it says 'see: redundant'*
Look... we don't know spanish... the audience didn't know spanish... we were essentially... spanishless... and still... we sang... for the love of god... we sang... we had sung this song for ever... and it would be a total waste to not let the audience hear it... though from their contorted faces, they were trying to spot english amongst the gabber jabber...
Then... the four fifths of the 5 hebrew love songs were done... we left out the bong bong song, cause our alto section just seemed to in sync with each other... which is a good thing... the song was bad...
Little applause we had... till the Ngee Ann people came out... they did the horse saddle song and Oh Danny Boy. One of the reasons why we didnt do the 4th hebrew song was cause the NP choir was also doing a bong bong song... the horse saddle one... ew... won't mention nothing... they're not bad... they got a louder applause than the songs we did... oh well... they've been doing this song since ages ago... so it's expected...
Then combined!! We just sang... we lost consciousness at this point... and we were all set to autopilot... sang and sang and sang... till the end of the first half...
Denise came backstage to say goodbye at this point... she had to leave for New York the next day so couldn't blame her... at this point in time... Wei Xin was "It's too bad Denise can't stay for our second half..." But in twenty minutes from then... his opinion on that matter changed entirely...
For the second half... Xing! came out first... Secret Garden sounded really good backstage... then it was time for Wei Xin's and Matthew's "Lily's eyes"... it went... pleasantly well...
I apologise at this point... cause I've lost all highness in the matter... so this is just my mind's dairy of the thing... we did our three pieces... I got beaten up by Joe... for my solo... I snapped... oh well...
I more or less forgot what happened after that till the end of the concert... Wei Xin proposed... we all hailed Joe... exhausted... disbelief it was ending... who knew...
At the end, we did our encore... Joe sang with us! Then... headed backstage to pack up... flowers... pictures... CHOCOLATE!! Yea... Denise brought chocs from her previous business trip, if I'm not wrong... she really shouldn't have... but yea! Brussel Chocs!
We headed our seperate ways... Matthew, Wei Xin and I headed to Makan Sutra to eat with a couple of their friends... along with Sha... Wei xin bought 2 plates of food... I bought $10 worth of cockles! Whee... highness! Now this story has been circulating, thanks to Wei Xin but I'll still put it up anyway... here's what happened...
*Picks up one to chew*
Kenneth: Bleah... this one's bad...
Melissa: Ew... spit it out!
Kenneth: Naw, I'm still chewing... *continues gnawing*
Then I met my match... 30-40 odd cockles later, I picked a huge one to eat... turned out bad... couldn't take it... so I spat it out... not a pretty sight... moving on...
~An hour later~
Walking home... Wei Xin and I had some fun with the roads...
Tired shitless... I trudged across a really long road... the green man turned red, and I, seeing it changed, stopped, in the middle of the road. Now this was 1am in the morning, mind you... after our concert... we were all piss-drunk, high, and generally mental by this time... it simply didn't occure to me that I should continue walking... I'm following the law after all...
Then, 10 minutes later, being much higher, I decided to lie on the road... now this was for fun... but it didn't really last cause as soon as I put my head down, a car sped towards me... never did the word "Car!" mean so much as to that moment... after that one, Wei Xin decided to sit on
road to wait for the next car... and so we did... and finally, when we were done, we headed back to sleep... school was about to start in 5 hours...
~Monday, the high day~
Now, not that we were drunk... just that after the concert we just wanted to do crazy things... let's make a list...
- Pot Luck
- Pre-Pot luck Preparations
- Pot Luck itself
Alright... not that huge a list... but briefly... in about another thousand words, I'll try to describe what happened...
"Pot luck is on! Everyone bring food tomorrow! Alright!" Pictures didn't do the concert just... so this was a first... and it was on...
Joanna "I'll be buying cakee!"
Mark "Curry Puffs!"
Kenneth "Drinks and balloons! Banners and shit!" *Note: balloons didn't happen... shit happened, though...
And so, we all went around to get various stuff for Pot Luck! Yay!
Ahem... we all ended school early... our booth was essentially, boothless... love to use that line... posters gone, cloth dissapeared... we were booth-napped! So... with the whole afternoon to kill, and odd trio, Kenneth, Wei Xin and Nicole, headed to Clementi for lunch... little did we know... lunch was just the beginning...
Odd ideas started popping into our minds... Wei Xin went on about his own chain of food stalls called "Surprise!" Chicken Surprise! What's the surprise? It's beef! Chicken embedded in a cake, and ice cream embedded in chickens! On and on... awesomeness...
All I wanted to do was to say "Hi!" to random people off the streets... nothing much...
So... lunch... Wei Xin had ordered Milo bing without bing... bing=ice, for those dumb ones... then I didn't know what to eat... so here's the conversation that went on with me and the store owner...
"Hi, can I help you?"
"What's good to eat...?"
"Try the spaghetthi."
"Er... okay... do you think I should get chicken chops or beef chops?"
"Chicken chop."
"Beef chop it is..."
"How do you want it done?"
"Raw..."
"... You mean medium rare?"
"I said 'raw'... alright... medium rare would do..."
Amazingly, he didn't flinch at all when we did this... he must get that alot... The beef came extra crispy... he cooked the shit out of it... medium rare... wow...
But of course... it wasn't the end...
We went to NTUC... bought drinks and chips... here's the conversation with the cashier...
"Nets or cash?"
"How much is it...?"
"$10.65 please."
"Er... great... here's a 10... here's a 10 cents... 5 cents... good..."
At this point, I wondered why she didn't take the money... Nicole then put a 50 cents on the table and she took it all...
"Nicole... why did you give her 50 cents? I wanted abit of coins in my pocket..."
*dumbstruck*
And so we stood there, for about half a minute... just waiting... wondering why she didn't give me change... then wondered why she was serving other people... then...
"OOOH.... I thought there was change..."
Confused... we left...
Thinking back now... it still seemed like a dream... we lived a dream that day... though... we're sure it's not a dream...
Wei Xin: Let's get sanitary pads for banner!
Kenneth: That's like the coolest la!
So to Watsons we headed, and bought Sanitary pads... and somewhere along the way condoms and hello panda... whee... now after leaving the store did the gravity of the situation hit us...
Wei Xin: Shit... the highness of the whole thing is wearing off now...
Kenneth: Yea... now what do we do with the condoms...
No balloons that night... Oh well...
Pot luck came and went... I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed myself... though I don't know if I can say the same to the rest... cake... curry puff... drinks... sweets... other things... forfeits... small games... funness... haha... oh well...
Well... that's just about enough I can take today... we had fun with the condoms... at least I did... oh well...
Concert breakdown... and breakdowns before the concert...
Heys... It's me, The Unholy One, back again... after a super long break, to update y'all about happenings in the choir... But today is really special... it's the third, or second pre-ultimate day to our debut performance... Today'll be publishing something for us tomorrow... gonna get a copy, and cut it out to keep it... yea... so for today's news...
-Our last burst for publicity! Deranged choir heads out at dead of night to sing to the moon!
-Disregard of time completely! One of the longest rehearsals ever!
-Throats sore! What to do to prevent a hoarse concert? Not to mention another one tomorrow!
-Sentiments before our concert! More like suicide note cum last will...
As a last burst for publicity, SP Voices went on a great journey! A voyage that's like a total rip off of "Around the world in 80 days", we did our own "Around the school in half an hour!" What happened, was that at the dead of night, where even the moon was brushing its teeth to go to bed, we headed out to wander around the school, singing our 2nd half pieces.
Bewildered passer-bys stared, laughed, and some even clapped along. But, this effort went wasted as our voice only grew more tired, and we didn't sell one ticket. It would have been better if we didn't do nothing at all... even the squirrels woke up, looking at us, going, "where's the cannon??" They were practically throwing their acorns at us, shouting, "Shut the hell up or I'm calling SPCA!"
But all in all, it was worth it... cause we somehow became more bonded... we should all do this more often... haha... WE SHALL CONQUER THE WORLD WITH OUR MUSIC!!!
Today was one of longest rehearsals ever. Song after song after song. Afternoon all the way to night... left the school at 11pm... all with an hour break in between or so... tough...
Song. Song. Song. Toilet. Song. Water. Song. Song. Song. Notes. Song. Water. Dinner. Song... and so on.. We came out hoarser than a Russian Bass in the morning... We could sing notes lower than the piano could play... gawd...
And so... what to do? We now have a diet designed specially for the concert. Pure pipagao, 3 bottles a day for maximum effect, followed by morning and evening tablets of lozenges, special protein water, honey and assortments of herbs from India for a beautiful voice. Our throats are so smooth now drinking lubricant would just make it rougher. We're like umpteenth times smoother than the smoothest Nippon Paint, the ones where lizards slide off the wall...
Sentiments about the choir now... We've done so much for the concert... We've suffered so much... it's just 2 more days of hard work... We've been through so much together... the only thing I can say now... is that we live to sing...
Singing is part of our lives... music is more of a part of our lives... no matter what stands in our way... no matter if there's no Hope (No pun intended, I meant the person)... or there's a Hope... which is blocking us... making us all stressed last minute... to quote from a very good song writer... WE SHALL NOT YIELD!!!
Nothing will prevent us from doing the one thing in the world we love the most... to sing... no matter what happens... we will still be together... making lovely music... so cheer up... two more days... work hard... don't over perform... just have fun! Like we always do... we always do, don't we? Let's do this... and show the world... even if we can't make good dough... we make good music... bwa ha ha...
-Our last burst for publicity! Deranged choir heads out at dead of night to sing to the moon!
-Disregard of time completely! One of the longest rehearsals ever!
-Throats sore! What to do to prevent a hoarse concert? Not to mention another one tomorrow!
-Sentiments before our concert! More like suicide note cum last will...
As a last burst for publicity, SP Voices went on a great journey! A voyage that's like a total rip off of "Around the world in 80 days", we did our own "Around the school in half an hour!" What happened, was that at the dead of night, where even the moon was brushing its teeth to go to bed, we headed out to wander around the school, singing our 2nd half pieces.
Bewildered passer-bys stared, laughed, and some even clapped along. But, this effort went wasted as our voice only grew more tired, and we didn't sell one ticket. It would have been better if we didn't do nothing at all... even the squirrels woke up, looking at us, going, "where's the cannon??" They were practically throwing their acorns at us, shouting, "Shut the hell up or I'm calling SPCA!"
But all in all, it was worth it... cause we somehow became more bonded... we should all do this more often... haha... WE SHALL CONQUER THE WORLD WITH OUR MUSIC!!!
Today was one of longest rehearsals ever. Song after song after song. Afternoon all the way to night... left the school at 11pm... all with an hour break in between or so... tough...
Song. Song. Song. Toilet. Song. Water. Song. Song. Song. Notes. Song. Water. Dinner. Song... and so on.. We came out hoarser than a Russian Bass in the morning... We could sing notes lower than the piano could play... gawd...
And so... what to do? We now have a diet designed specially for the concert. Pure pipagao, 3 bottles a day for maximum effect, followed by morning and evening tablets of lozenges, special protein water, honey and assortments of herbs from India for a beautiful voice. Our throats are so smooth now drinking lubricant would just make it rougher. We're like umpteenth times smoother than the smoothest Nippon Paint, the ones where lizards slide off the wall...
Sentiments about the choir now... We've done so much for the concert... We've suffered so much... it's just 2 more days of hard work... We've been through so much together... the only thing I can say now... is that we live to sing...
Singing is part of our lives... music is more of a part of our lives... no matter what stands in our way... no matter if there's no Hope (No pun intended, I meant the person)... or there's a Hope... which is blocking us... making us all stressed last minute... to quote from a very good song writer... WE SHALL NOT YIELD!!!
Nothing will prevent us from doing the one thing in the world we love the most... to sing... no matter what happens... we will still be together... making lovely music... so cheer up... two more days... work hard... don't over perform... just have fun! Like we always do... we always do, don't we? Let's do this... and show the world... even if we can't make good dough... we make good music... bwa ha ha...
The National Day Series!
Hello Singapore! It's your 42th birthday, baby! Still looking good! 42's the new 24, you know! It's me Ladies and Germs, The Unholy One, to specially bring to you a special Choir National Day... Special!
First up, we'll take an exclusive look up in Nicole's... room! What were you thinking!?? And amazing sneak peek at what our friendly Nicole lives in! And its not a swamp, like all the rumours that are being spread... No... It's a real live room! But there are... little secrets in the room here and there... nya ha ha...
Next up! National day celebration at SP! Recounting this incident would take roughly 3 working days... so I'll just give bits here and there... it'll be really long...
Choir says Bye bye for exams... Boo hoo... no more choir... for another 2 1/2 weeks... Waaaaah!
First up... the other day, our brave reporters, Agent Kenneth and Agent Adriana ventured into the undisturbed realms of Nicole's home! AK and AA set off shortly after NDOC rehearsal on Tuesday on pretense of hunger and ill tempered parents whom they don't want to see...
And so seeing how pitiful as they were, Nicole brought them home for dinner... and soon we began to see how awful it was...
They had HUGE dinners!! Like a dinner for 100 grown men was for a meal of 4 over there! It was absolutely amazing! I've never seen so much fish in my entire life! No wonder the market's cleared out everyday! Nicole's maid must've gone to buy some fish for a snack or something...
Point is... it was a lovely dinner... with great food(assortment of 3 huge plates of dishes), great drinks(yakult and vitagen) and desserts(grapes), and of course... lots of dog fur for Kenneth, cause Nicole had this hair dropping monstrosity in her home, which Kenneth touched without any forewarning.
You know how snails leave a trail of slime? This one left trails of hair... it like the dogs of wolverine, super fast regeneration ability, you could practically see the hair grow on that thing! And fall, too! I can even hear the hair go, "hey, let me stay on awhile! Oops... falling now... whee..."
So from the bottom of my heart... thanks for the dinner, Nicole... and Nicole's dog... whom I forgot to ask what her name was... probably something like "bark bark bark"... cause that's more or less what dogs can say when you ask them anything, period...
So we went up to her god forsaken room, only to find it the most amazing place we've ever seen... it was like stepping in a dream... with dreamy walls... and dreamy... okay! Dreams over! I just remembered how the toilet smelled after what Adriana did with it... sheesh...
Now, the thing you have to know about Nicole's room, its amazing! Great decor, built in mattress holder(My old house had one of those), toilet, super cool cabinets, and more stuff...
She has these little drawings on her walls... where you're usually supposed to hang pictures... I suppose she figured painting and hanging them would be too much trouble, so she just drew on them... little quotes and stuff... cool wall...
Built in toilet... cool large basin, cool toilet bowl, cool flush, cool two way swinging shower door, and a cool double toilet roll dispenser! All equipped with dolby surround sound and a plasma TV! I was joking... about the basin...
And so... I'm sorry Nicole... I know they had to replace your toilet bowl after that night... prunes got stuck all over the inside... so I'm sorry... I know... it was really gross... ew... stank too...
And she has this really cool wardrobe that is made for short people! I know she likes feeling tall... but THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT WAY, NICOLE! Assortment of clothes and stuff... the queen size bed totally rocked...
Then comes her little things... she has this really cool photo collection! I won't stress on that... we'll leave those sweet sweet memories to ourselves... if I say too much here... people might be compelled to burn all of theirs... in any situation where it accidentally reaches my hands... sorry 'bout that Nicole... I promise you'll have fun with mine...
And then her little toys! Her favourite lizard... her bean bag frog... (snicker...) and her magnet electronic insect repellent... called the "bye bye" insect... for some reason... scientists have created this powerful device to actually communicate to insects and usher them out of your room... eg. "Good evening Mr. Cockroach. I'm afraid to tell you this piece of bad news but you have to leave this room immediately. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye." and the cockroach leaves!!! Amazing!
After hanging about in her house till about 10.30... we had to say bye bye ourselves... not very fun... but we'll promise to stay over one day!
Ah... the NDOC next... the national choir disaster... mandatory... so I'll get it over with...
This year, our choir participated in the celebrations at SP for "Happy 42th Birthday Singapore: Up yours! Americans!" I mean, seriously... with a song like "Place"... it's like declaring war upon the world, you know... We're telling everyone that Singapore is better than everywhere else! Thames, UK, London Bridge, Big Ben, Great Wall... honestly... bad choice of lyrics, my dear pal...
And yes, you guessed it! We sang "Place", "Will you", "Count on me Singapore", and "Stand up for Singapore"... more patriotism in those four songs than what you can find at Gay Pride Parades...
The point is... we were more than happy to sing those songs, weren't we? We loved practicing extra hours with maniacal soloists whom half of them can't sing for shit, while the other half thinking this is Campus Superstar... then do ridiculous dance steps which make Richard Simmons look like Michael Jackson, then stand in the sun for half of a god damned sunny afternoon... all this while, trying to smile... and look happy!
So while we were temporarily blinded and in a Sauna baking like potatoes, Lamb Chop, Pork Chop and Venison, (Only exception is Adri... she just turned red like Santa's costume...), we clapped hands, swayed from side to side, and generally sang to an audience worthy of a cemetery... No I'm serious! You could find more excitement in a mortuary than what we saw there... gawd... unbelievable...
Ha ha... of course... Jimmy was standing in the stands waving and clapping to us... ignorant to the rest of the audience... And Matthew... who gave up conducting us halfway, with this face that said, "we're screwed..." all the way through... but it was enjoyable nonetheless...
We enjoyed the rest of the performance though... I, Kenneth, got some time to talk to Joanna... whee... though she still thinks I'm completely mental... And! And! Esther said Adriana and I looked cute together! See? I've been telling Adri since I met her that she was meant for me! But Esther... unfortunately, it has been the other way round... see, the first time I hit on her... she went, "And what do I look like to you, a female ogre? And what do you want us to be, and ogre family? Want to be a papa ogre and me the mama ogre? Is this a fairy tale to you? You think this is Shrek 5? Go back to the swamp, you..." And that's how it is, Esther... still love your SIA costume though... whee...
And so after many many hysterical events... Oh! Balloon!... *ahem* hysterical events... we headed for free food... free food... free food... egg and longan... free food... laughter... free food... pictures with insane people... free food... pee is sterile... free food...
Yea... it was a great celebration...
And in really sad news... the choir has now officially stopped its practices for the exams... yes... its necessary... so we won't have choir for the next 3 weeks then... Boo Hoo!!!
So that's it from me tonight... have a good one people... and Happy National Day!
First up, we'll take an exclusive look up in Nicole's... room! What were you thinking!?? And amazing sneak peek at what our friendly Nicole lives in! And its not a swamp, like all the rumours that are being spread... No... It's a real live room! But there are... little secrets in the room here and there... nya ha ha...
Next up! National day celebration at SP! Recounting this incident would take roughly 3 working days... so I'll just give bits here and there... it'll be really long...
Choir says Bye bye for exams... Boo hoo... no more choir... for another 2 1/2 weeks... Waaaaah!
First up... the other day, our brave reporters, Agent Kenneth and Agent Adriana ventured into the undisturbed realms of Nicole's home! AK and AA set off shortly after NDOC rehearsal on Tuesday on pretense of hunger and ill tempered parents whom they don't want to see...
And so seeing how pitiful as they were, Nicole brought them home for dinner... and soon we began to see how awful it was...
They had HUGE dinners!! Like a dinner for 100 grown men was for a meal of 4 over there! It was absolutely amazing! I've never seen so much fish in my entire life! No wonder the market's cleared out everyday! Nicole's maid must've gone to buy some fish for a snack or something...
Point is... it was a lovely dinner... with great food(assortment of 3 huge plates of dishes), great drinks(yakult and vitagen) and desserts(grapes), and of course... lots of dog fur for Kenneth, cause Nicole had this hair dropping monstrosity in her home, which Kenneth touched without any forewarning.
You know how snails leave a trail of slime? This one left trails of hair... it like the dogs of wolverine, super fast regeneration ability, you could practically see the hair grow on that thing! And fall, too! I can even hear the hair go, "hey, let me stay on awhile! Oops... falling now... whee..."
So from the bottom of my heart... thanks for the dinner, Nicole... and Nicole's dog... whom I forgot to ask what her name was... probably something like "bark bark bark"... cause that's more or less what dogs can say when you ask them anything, period...
So we went up to her god forsaken room, only to find it the most amazing place we've ever seen... it was like stepping in a dream... with dreamy walls... and dreamy... okay! Dreams over! I just remembered how the toilet smelled after what Adriana did with it... sheesh...
Now, the thing you have to know about Nicole's room, its amazing! Great decor, built in mattress holder(My old house had one of those), toilet, super cool cabinets, and more stuff...
She has these little drawings on her walls... where you're usually supposed to hang pictures... I suppose she figured painting and hanging them would be too much trouble, so she just drew on them... little quotes and stuff... cool wall...
Built in toilet... cool large basin, cool toilet bowl, cool flush, cool two way swinging shower door, and a cool double toilet roll dispenser! All equipped with dolby surround sound and a plasma TV! I was joking... about the basin...
And so... I'm sorry Nicole... I know they had to replace your toilet bowl after that night... prunes got stuck all over the inside... so I'm sorry... I know... it was really gross... ew... stank too...
And she has this really cool wardrobe that is made for short people! I know she likes feeling tall... but THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT WAY, NICOLE! Assortment of clothes and stuff... the queen size bed totally rocked...
Then comes her little things... she has this really cool photo collection! I won't stress on that... we'll leave those sweet sweet memories to ourselves... if I say too much here... people might be compelled to burn all of theirs... in any situation where it accidentally reaches my hands... sorry 'bout that Nicole... I promise you'll have fun with mine...
And then her little toys! Her favourite lizard... her bean bag frog... (snicker...) and her magnet electronic insect repellent... called the "bye bye" insect... for some reason... scientists have created this powerful device to actually communicate to insects and usher them out of your room... eg. "Good evening Mr. Cockroach. I'm afraid to tell you this piece of bad news but you have to leave this room immediately. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye." and the cockroach leaves!!! Amazing!
After hanging about in her house till about 10.30... we had to say bye bye ourselves... not very fun... but we'll promise to stay over one day!
Ah... the NDOC next... the national choir disaster... mandatory... so I'll get it over with...
This year, our choir participated in the celebrations at SP for "Happy 42th Birthday Singapore: Up yours! Americans!" I mean, seriously... with a song like "Place"... it's like declaring war upon the world, you know... We're telling everyone that Singapore is better than everywhere else! Thames, UK, London Bridge, Big Ben, Great Wall... honestly... bad choice of lyrics, my dear pal...
And yes, you guessed it! We sang "Place", "Will you", "Count on me Singapore", and "Stand up for Singapore"... more patriotism in those four songs than what you can find at Gay Pride Parades...
The point is... we were more than happy to sing those songs, weren't we? We loved practicing extra hours with maniacal soloists whom half of them can't sing for shit, while the other half thinking this is Campus Superstar... then do ridiculous dance steps which make Richard Simmons look like Michael Jackson, then stand in the sun for half of a god damned sunny afternoon... all this while, trying to smile... and look happy!
So while we were temporarily blinded and in a Sauna baking like potatoes, Lamb Chop, Pork Chop and Venison, (Only exception is Adri... she just turned red like Santa's costume...), we clapped hands, swayed from side to side, and generally sang to an audience worthy of a cemetery... No I'm serious! You could find more excitement in a mortuary than what we saw there... gawd... unbelievable...
Ha ha... of course... Jimmy was standing in the stands waving and clapping to us... ignorant to the rest of the audience... And Matthew... who gave up conducting us halfway, with this face that said, "we're screwed..." all the way through... but it was enjoyable nonetheless...
We enjoyed the rest of the performance though... I, Kenneth, got some time to talk to Joanna... whee... though she still thinks I'm completely mental... And! And! Esther said Adriana and I looked cute together! See? I've been telling Adri since I met her that she was meant for me! But Esther... unfortunately, it has been the other way round... see, the first time I hit on her... she went, "And what do I look like to you, a female ogre? And what do you want us to be, and ogre family? Want to be a papa ogre and me the mama ogre? Is this a fairy tale to you? You think this is Shrek 5? Go back to the swamp, you..." And that's how it is, Esther... still love your SIA costume though... whee...
And so after many many hysterical events... Oh! Balloon!... *ahem* hysterical events... we headed for free food... free food... free food... egg and longan... free food... laughter... free food... pictures with insane people... free food... pee is sterile... free food...
Yea... it was a great celebration...
And in really sad news... the choir has now officially stopped its practices for the exams... yes... its necessary... so we won't have choir for the next 3 weeks then... Boo Hoo!!!
So that's it from me tonight... have a good one people... and Happy National Day!
Mindless banter by a deranged maniac...
The Unholy One here... again to bring you news... but today's news is different... it has nothing to do with the choir...
And so... what do we have for you today? Well not alot really... its a Sunday and people are having their off days... so I'm just slacking off... not doing shit... wait... can you even "do" shit...? Well, that's besides the point... today's episode is basically gonna be a recount of the many random things that happened today... no humour whatsoever... just a recount...
-Bangla goes work happy!
-Nicole's priceless exhibition!
-Hot friends!
-Poisoned chocolate!
-Dinner at Gramps!
-Trapped in a shop!
-Plans for staying over foiled by mum!
Well... today was a really uneventful day, as you can see from the event summaries up there...
First up! Today I walked past a couple of Indian guys working, and I realised, that the guy was smiling! I mean... its a god damned Sunday! Sunday! He was working in the hot sun! Carrying loads of gravel! Working! This loony, was working on a Sunday, in the hot sun, carrying heavy stuff, SMILING! Who the hell does that honestly...
And so... it was a really weird thing to witness... not to mention he was also skipping quite abit... now that I think of it... he looked high... hmm...
And another thing... all these holes in Singapore... you know why the government never runs out of jobs for us? Cause, for no rhyme or reason, they just randomly get men to dig holes here and there and fill them up again! Endless jobs! Great government...
Next up... Nicole held her own exhibition at this red dot place at Tanjong Pagar... really neat... now this self-centred person... instead of walking us through the exhibits, decides to stand at her own exhibit, while quietly snickering at people behind their backs cause they don't know how to piece her puzzle... what ingenuity...
And so... that was her exhibit... 9 boxed puzzle... an "interactive" exhibit, so to speak... really good job though... like what they did with the place... a little devil tried chewing up her exhibit though... the little bugger prolly thought it was some large colored sugar cube or something...
And Nicole, of all people, has hot friends! There were a couple of people who came to the exhibit to cheer her on... I didn't see no cheerleaders but there were many hot chicks... point is... I'm thinking Nicole could be a babe magnet... sheesh... of all people... her... why not me... Waaaa!
Apparently... Adriana poisoned Nicole's chocolate... 5 minutes into eating the chocolate and Nicole ran, faster than she normally does, straight to the toilet... and stayed there for about a half hour... eating that little piece of chocolate was the last thing she ever did... poor Nicole...
Glad to let ya'll know... she's fine... the ambulance came in time to pick up her falling limbs... and she's staying at TUH, transsexual university hospital, eating liquid goo from a tube connected to her stomach cause her intestines turned to liquid goo...
Naw I'm just pulling your leg... she's dead and on the way to a mortuary right now... she died a fulfilling death... cause it was so fun to see her run to the toilet... with a look of pain on her face... we'll miss you Nicole...
I apologise, for I was tugging on the limb attached to your lower torso again... hard truth and boring truth... she was fine after the toilet... but I swear to god... she looked slimmer when she came out... it must've been the kinda crap that you'll lose 5 kgs after taking... awesome...
Another thought... why do we all "take" dumps? "I'm gonna take a shit." "I'm taking a crap now..." Well, I'll tell all 'a ya'll right now... I'm not taking no one's shit... I'll be leaving mine in there thank you very much...
And after the exhibition... the three odd musketeers headed over to Adriana's gramps... awesome house... I've never seen 30 people squeeze into a 4 room... cause that's what it was... as many as 30 people were squeezed into that tiny apartment... it was miraculous! Apparently this is once in two weeks... any more than that I'd think the floor'd collapse... sheesh...
But the food was good... the food was really good... but the only reason it was good was cause her aunt must've had tons of experience... can you imagine cooking for 30 people? In a year you must've had cooked enough for the nation to eat... who knows? Maybe more... Yes the food was good...
Then after... Nicole and I headed to Funan IT... originally intended to go Bugis... but I ended up spending my time at macs with Nicole... staring at the 2-D display motion sensor thingy... We then headed down to gramophone... where I spent another hundred... and we got trapped in the shop...
After purchasing the items, we turned for the exit... and there it was... blocked... and so we pondered and walked about the store for about a minute before asking... and the blocked exit was the exit... sheesh... we were trapped... and in the end... the nice counter lady removed the huge obstruction and we continued on our way...
And then we originally planned for an overnight stay at Nicole's... but apparently Someone's mum claims something might happen... vague isn't it... and that more or less cause the downfall... of our plans... its like saying The Ring was not delivered to Mount Doom as Gandalf told Frodo he might be raped by orcs... or something...
Gandalf is gay... or at least that Ian guy acting as him... on a second thought... I wouldn't wanna go there right now...
Sleeping time... Zzzzz....
And so... what do we have for you today? Well not alot really... its a Sunday and people are having their off days... so I'm just slacking off... not doing shit... wait... can you even "do" shit...? Well, that's besides the point... today's episode is basically gonna be a recount of the many random things that happened today... no humour whatsoever... just a recount...
-Bangla goes work happy!
-Nicole's priceless exhibition!
-Hot friends!
-Poisoned chocolate!
-Dinner at Gramps!
-Trapped in a shop!
-Plans for staying over foiled by mum!
Well... today was a really uneventful day, as you can see from the event summaries up there...
First up! Today I walked past a couple of Indian guys working, and I realised, that the guy was smiling! I mean... its a god damned Sunday! Sunday! He was working in the hot sun! Carrying loads of gravel! Working! This loony, was working on a Sunday, in the hot sun, carrying heavy stuff, SMILING! Who the hell does that honestly...
And so... it was a really weird thing to witness... not to mention he was also skipping quite abit... now that I think of it... he looked high... hmm...
And another thing... all these holes in Singapore... you know why the government never runs out of jobs for us? Cause, for no rhyme or reason, they just randomly get men to dig holes here and there and fill them up again! Endless jobs! Great government...
Next up... Nicole held her own exhibition at this red dot place at Tanjong Pagar... really neat... now this self-centred person... instead of walking us through the exhibits, decides to stand at her own exhibit, while quietly snickering at people behind their backs cause they don't know how to piece her puzzle... what ingenuity...
And so... that was her exhibit... 9 boxed puzzle... an "interactive" exhibit, so to speak... really good job though... like what they did with the place... a little devil tried chewing up her exhibit though... the little bugger prolly thought it was some large colored sugar cube or something...
And Nicole, of all people, has hot friends! There were a couple of people who came to the exhibit to cheer her on... I didn't see no cheerleaders but there were many hot chicks... point is... I'm thinking Nicole could be a babe magnet... sheesh... of all people... her... why not me... Waaaa!
Apparently... Adriana poisoned Nicole's chocolate... 5 minutes into eating the chocolate and Nicole ran, faster than she normally does, straight to the toilet... and stayed there for about a half hour... eating that little piece of chocolate was the last thing she ever did... poor Nicole...
Glad to let ya'll know... she's fine... the ambulance came in time to pick up her falling limbs... and she's staying at TUH, transsexual university hospital, eating liquid goo from a tube connected to her stomach cause her intestines turned to liquid goo...
Naw I'm just pulling your leg... she's dead and on the way to a mortuary right now... she died a fulfilling death... cause it was so fun to see her run to the toilet... with a look of pain on her face... we'll miss you Nicole...
I apologise, for I was tugging on the limb attached to your lower torso again... hard truth and boring truth... she was fine after the toilet... but I swear to god... she looked slimmer when she came out... it must've been the kinda crap that you'll lose 5 kgs after taking... awesome...
Another thought... why do we all "take" dumps? "I'm gonna take a shit." "I'm taking a crap now..." Well, I'll tell all 'a ya'll right now... I'm not taking no one's shit... I'll be leaving mine in there thank you very much...
And after the exhibition... the three odd musketeers headed over to Adriana's gramps... awesome house... I've never seen 30 people squeeze into a 4 room... cause that's what it was... as many as 30 people were squeezed into that tiny apartment... it was miraculous! Apparently this is once in two weeks... any more than that I'd think the floor'd collapse... sheesh...
But the food was good... the food was really good... but the only reason it was good was cause her aunt must've had tons of experience... can you imagine cooking for 30 people? In a year you must've had cooked enough for the nation to eat... who knows? Maybe more... Yes the food was good...
Then after... Nicole and I headed to Funan IT... originally intended to go Bugis... but I ended up spending my time at macs with Nicole... staring at the 2-D display motion sensor thingy... We then headed down to gramophone... where I spent another hundred... and we got trapped in the shop...
After purchasing the items, we turned for the exit... and there it was... blocked... and so we pondered and walked about the store for about a minute before asking... and the blocked exit was the exit... sheesh... we were trapped... and in the end... the nice counter lady removed the huge obstruction and we continued on our way...
And then we originally planned for an overnight stay at Nicole's... but apparently Someone's mum claims something might happen... vague isn't it... and that more or less cause the downfall... of our plans... its like saying The Ring was not delivered to Mount Doom as Gandalf told Frodo he might be raped by orcs... or something...
Gandalf is gay... or at least that Ian guy acting as him... on a second thought... I wouldn't wanna go there right now...
Sleeping time... Zzzzz....
Late... late... very late...
Hey yo people! The Unholy One in the house. It's a late post but I'll put it up anyway. Our President along with our student conductor and 3 of their other friends went to the National Acca Champs... I saw them pass the semi finals... and though we weren't there to see, they hit the finals and won! They are critically acclaimed... they are... ALTERED!!
Here are some photos of the semi finals...
In the semi finals... they totally and utterly trashed their competitors... they obliterated them... it was not a pretty sight... like comparing human and god, they ruled... there's more on the post right at the top, by the way...
Signing off... No humour today... nya...
Here are some photos of the semi finals...
In the semi finals... they totally and utterly trashed their competitors... they obliterated them... it was not a pretty sight... like comparing human and god, they ruled... there's more on the post right at the top, by the way...
Signing off... No humour today... nya...
National a Cappella Championships
On the evening of July 30th, 2007, the Freestyle R&B a Cappella group "Altered", won all of three separate awards in the National a Cappella Championships 2007.
After just 18 cumulative hours of training and practice, the freshly formed team battled their way through the semi-finals on the 26th of July, and eventually went on to claim the Junior College category Championship, the Overall Audience Favourite award, and the Best Beatboxer award.
With a group consisting of Matthew, Wei Xin, Shah, Aimran and Ryan (4 Singapore Polytechnic students and 1 Temasek JC student), Altered received compliments on its fresh performance style from known performers, conductors and musical notaries such as Babes Condes, Imran and vocal component of the Hip-hop R&B group, Juz B.
With the musical and performance advice of Joe Goh, Altered has succeeded in stunning the audience and professional musicians alike with their vibrance and audacity.
Following the Championships, Altered will be performing alongside the Senior College and Open competition category in Sonic Landscape.: a Cappella Festival 2007 on the 4th and 5th of September, and also featuring in the Singapore Polytechnic Choirs' concert; Debut: Musical Mosaic.
After just 18 cumulative hours of training and practice, the freshly formed team battled their way through the semi-finals on the 26th of July, and eventually went on to claim the Junior College category Championship, the Overall Audience Favourite award, and the Best Beatboxer award.
With a group consisting of Matthew, Wei Xin, Shah, Aimran and Ryan (4 Singapore Polytechnic students and 1 Temasek JC student), Altered received compliments on its fresh performance style from known performers, conductors and musical notaries such as Babes Condes, Imran and vocal component of the Hip-hop R&B group, Juz B.
With the musical and performance advice of Joe Goh, Altered has succeeded in stunning the audience and professional musicians alike with their vibrance and audacity.
Following the Championships, Altered will be performing alongside the Senior College and Open competition category in Sonic Landscape.: a Cappella Festival 2007 on the 4th and 5th of September, and also featuring in the Singapore Polytechnic Choirs' concert; Debut: Musical Mosaic.
I'm so... freakin' pissed... I'm gonna have a BF...
Its me... The Unholy One... to look at life at ways you've never imagined... let's have a look at what we've got for tonight's short stories...
Adriana has fun with badminton!
Free sushi!
And no more Clementi meetings!
Bad attendence!
Adriana playing badminton turns really bad (pun purposefully put there, though totally out of context). Here's an interview with Kenneth, who saw everything.
"And so, I was minding my own business right? And I looked over, and I saw a person wearing a black sweater, see? And so I thought, 'I think that's Adriana!'. Right? And so I stand there, and wait to see what happens, cause I couldn't see her face.
And so these two guys, presumably her friends, said something, and then, I finally knew it was her, cause she, like, burst out laughing so hard she lost her balance, shrieking and shit. And I was like, 'shit, thats whacked man.' And so I like, stand there, and watch her play? And she was totally into it! She was literally flying about the court. Like, more than half the time without her feet on the ground.
It was really disturbing to witness..."
And there you have it, folks. A rare sight indeed. And it looked like her flying about paid off. And hour later, when she headed back to the clubhouse, she stank like putrid rotten eggs, because her feet were rotting off from this blister the size of my balls. Seriously! And she just hollared and hollared in pain. Serves her right.
That's it for this part, cause I really wanna talk about bad attendence.
Free sushi at Koufu! Every day, or night if you will, around 8pm, the japanese food store at koufu closes. And once they pack, they would have to throw away their food! Ain't that great? So Adri, Nicole, and Ken got free food from there Monday night.
So here's what we'll do. During dinner break at our choir meetings, we all camp out in front of the jap store. And wait for it to close, and then BAM! WHAM! We steal all her food! Great, ain't it...
Yes and there is no more meetings at clementi either... I really need to pee... let's just get this done and over with...
God... look you slacking phucktards... all of us, not excluding anyone, maybe perhaps Joe, has work to do. We all go to the same god damned poly everyday you stinking buttholes...
Look... if this carries on any further, I swear to god I'll knock your skulls in the next time you don't come... I'd burn your HDB flat down... and murder your whole family...
I'd erase you from the very pages of history. I'd pull out your nose hair and plug your noses with rotten eggs. I'd stuff tabasco up your asses, and I'd plug that with your handphones. I'd give you wedgies so much you could spread your underwear across your master bed. I'd spit on my hands and rub them into your ears, and your ears will be gooey and shit.
Then I'd force you to eat the sushi from that Jap store from Koufu. Ew... maybe not... that's abit too gross...
And those are just starters... and when I'm finally done, you'd really rue the day your dad looked at your mum with a twinkle in his eye...
So come to choir! And don't get killed! It'd hurt you alot more than it would hurt me. Come on down now! For more information call 1800-dont-kill-me... thats right... each call costs S$3.00 a minute...
~-~-~-~-~
Bloopers...
And its me, once again, The Unholy One, looking at people's shorts and stories... shit... i just said that... ~beep~
I'd erase you from the pages of the history text book, even Harry Potter would look at me and go, "Wow! Magic!"... ~beep~
And of course we got free food from the jap store... but honestly, the store owner probably pays people to eat her food... *Whack* Ow god damn it... that hurt... ~beep~
And then I'd whip you... and make you beg for mercy... and then I'd put a strap on... *Whack Whack Whack*... *Smack*... Okay! Okay! I'm sorry... got carried away... ~beep~
Oh she smelled lovely... yea... that rotting blister did too... *Smack*... just because you guys don't have a fetish for smelly... *WHACK! SMACK! SOCK! BAM!* Urgh... seriously now... *THUD* *Crumples to the floor* ~beep~
And then I'd pour hot wax all over your body... Ooh... Kinky... Er... what are you doing with that knife... stop... look... I'm not playing anymore... no... no... NO... NOOOOOO!!!! *Silence* ~beep~
Adriana has fun with badminton!
Free sushi!
And no more Clementi meetings!
Bad attendence!
Adriana playing badminton turns really bad (pun purposefully put there, though totally out of context). Here's an interview with Kenneth, who saw everything.
"And so, I was minding my own business right? And I looked over, and I saw a person wearing a black sweater, see? And so I thought, 'I think that's Adriana!'. Right? And so I stand there, and wait to see what happens, cause I couldn't see her face.
And so these two guys, presumably her friends, said something, and then, I finally knew it was her, cause she, like, burst out laughing so hard she lost her balance, shrieking and shit. And I was like, 'shit, thats whacked man.' And so I like, stand there, and watch her play? And she was totally into it! She was literally flying about the court. Like, more than half the time without her feet on the ground.
It was really disturbing to witness..."
And there you have it, folks. A rare sight indeed. And it looked like her flying about paid off. And hour later, when she headed back to the clubhouse, she stank like putrid rotten eggs, because her feet were rotting off from this blister the size of my balls. Seriously! And she just hollared and hollared in pain. Serves her right.
That's it for this part, cause I really wanna talk about bad attendence.
Free sushi at Koufu! Every day, or night if you will, around 8pm, the japanese food store at koufu closes. And once they pack, they would have to throw away their food! Ain't that great? So Adri, Nicole, and Ken got free food from there Monday night.
So here's what we'll do. During dinner break at our choir meetings, we all camp out in front of the jap store. And wait for it to close, and then BAM! WHAM! We steal all her food! Great, ain't it...
Yes and there is no more meetings at clementi either... I really need to pee... let's just get this done and over with...
God... look you slacking phucktards... all of us, not excluding anyone, maybe perhaps Joe, has work to do. We all go to the same god damned poly everyday you stinking buttholes...
Look... if this carries on any further, I swear to god I'll knock your skulls in the next time you don't come... I'd burn your HDB flat down... and murder your whole family...
I'd erase you from the very pages of history. I'd pull out your nose hair and plug your noses with rotten eggs. I'd stuff tabasco up your asses, and I'd plug that with your handphones. I'd give you wedgies so much you could spread your underwear across your master bed. I'd spit on my hands and rub them into your ears, and your ears will be gooey and shit.
Then I'd force you to eat the sushi from that Jap store from Koufu. Ew... maybe not... that's abit too gross...
And those are just starters... and when I'm finally done, you'd really rue the day your dad looked at your mum with a twinkle in his eye...
So come to choir! And don't get killed! It'd hurt you alot more than it would hurt me. Come on down now! For more information call 1800-dont-kill-me... thats right... each call costs S$3.00 a minute...
~-~-~-~-~
Bloopers...
And its me, once again, The Unholy One, looking at people's shorts and stories... shit... i just said that... ~beep~
I'd erase you from the pages of the history text book, even Harry Potter would look at me and go, "Wow! Magic!"... ~beep~
And of course we got free food from the jap store... but honestly, the store owner probably pays people to eat her food... *Whack* Ow god damn it... that hurt... ~beep~
And then I'd whip you... and make you beg for mercy... and then I'd put a strap on... *Whack Whack Whack*... *Smack*... Okay! Okay! I'm sorry... got carried away... ~beep~
Oh she smelled lovely... yea... that rotting blister did too... *Smack*... just because you guys don't have a fetish for smelly... *WHACK! SMACK! SOCK! BAM!* Urgh... seriously now... *THUD* *Crumples to the floor* ~beep~
And then I'd pour hot wax all over your body... Ooh... Kinky... Er... what are you doing with that knife... stop... look... I'm not playing anymore... no... no... NO... NOOOOOO!!!! *Silence* ~beep~
The longest wait...
*Spot lights shine...*
*Drums roll...*
*The stage explodes! Heavy metal rock playing in the background!*
"HEY HEY HEY!! LADIES... AND.... GENTLEMEN!!! I'M BACK!!"
*Sparks fly and stage bursts with explosives once again!*
"ITS ME! THE UNHOLY ONE! AND I'M BACK FROM THE DEAD! TO BRING YOU... ONCE AGAIN... NEWS SPV TONIGHT!" *Crowd roars*
*Large shadow appears behind him. Music changes*
"WEEEELLLLLL! HERE'S THE BIG SHOW!"
*Turns around and screams like a sissy girl*
~-~-~-~-~
He woke up with a start.
"Woah! What a dream! I dreamt I was like a WWE star or something. Hey babe, whatcha doing down there eh?"
The man who spoke was about thirty, of medium height, with fashionably styled brown hair, and very handsome.
He stopped short looking ahead of him, his dark eyes shining as he gazed at the naked girl who had been giving him head under the blanket.
And at the sight of her body, he started to get even harder. It grew to be as thick as her fist, and its length seemed to go on forever as it jutted massively into the air.
She felt weak in the knees, and the snake in her belly squirmed. She wanted to fall down and worship it, wanted to crawl to it and pay it homage. She wanted it deep inside her, all the way, filling her, stretching her, tearing her apart.
She was only keeping her eyes on his fantastic prick, breathing harder as she came close to it. She then flung her arms around his legs, moaning as she nuzzled the gigantic thing against her face.
She kissed it, slid her mouth along its length, licked it with her tongue. She kissed and licked his balls. She wanted it inside her, but she couldn't, it was too big.
So she brought out her Swiss army knife and sliced vertically downwards...
~-~-~-~-~
1337b0y59: A4h!!11! 5HI+ Pis5 phUXOR cUn+!!11!!
t45t3pu55y98: OmGWtF!1! rOPhPHlE5 My WoPHfLE$!!1!
1337boy59: OmFg d00d 1 W@s DRE@Mt Th4T 5UM1 CH00PED MY dC1k 0FFf!11!
t45t3pu55y98: N01 1n +3h R1H9+ mInD'd cHOPPxX0Rx J00R CcoKXX0rX.-.
1337boy59: 1M H@vE tEH 1337 H0t 80d @ND J00 5uX0R!1!!
t45t3pu55y98: j00 5ux L1kE J00R MuM L4MO l0L L0L!1!!
1337boy59: Hey man... look out your window... you see that rock?
t45t3pu55y98: u 5UCh 4 wHor3 4ND... 0w... pHuk u!1!!
~-~-~-~-~
And that was the end of our exciting dream segment of today's News SPV Tonight. Its me, The Unholy One, here to bring you once again, the best kind of humour in the world, the type at your expense. Here we go...
~Tonight's New Headlines~
Sex at FC6. What will becoming of this threesome? Or... be cumming... More updates on this later tonight...
Smokers scared away as choir members scream their lungs out...
During the break, there'd be a special segment on how to speak leet.
Choir is pumped up for concert! But what else is pumping? Long hours at choir makes members compromise dinner. What ever will happen to our dinner time?
And of course, our Main Story, which has been going on for the past millennium, "Is Adriana really sane?" And the many styles of her laughter, another scientific mystery to the likes of mankind.
Sex at FC6? Mastermind Adriana set both P and VP of SP Voices to meet at FC6 early this Monday afternoon. Little did they both know she had so much in stored for them.
Within moments of arriving, the she-devil of a choir member hypnotised both P and VP to talk about sex, with her egging them on. This is some of the live footage.
Kenneth, "That's one hell of a nice sausage you got there. Awesome thing."
Wei Xin, "Yea and that bit off there is the circumcised part eh?"
And just as he bit into his sausage, a voice pipped up, "How bout some water to lubricate it?"
And choke choke sputter sputter. Bits of sausage flying everywhere. Surely it was the cause of this witch.
And for the whole hour they were there, it was nothing but sex talk, till Kenneth left the seat and broke the curse laid upon him. What other deviant plans does our quiet little rat have in store for us? Who knows...
Before choir practice, smokers and drug addicts usually hang outside the dance studio. DUring choir, they always disappear. Scientists have found this weird and did a study on it. The answer was simple. The reason they're leaving is because they cannot take anymore of hearing us singing and run away, to save their ears.
They now believe smoking is a much better alternative to joining the choir because they think their lungs are much less damaged compared to ours. I mean, where else does the phrase, "scream your lungs out" come from?
Also, the reason they're coming back is because their daily lives are so horrible they just want to see people suffering more than them. But then they come only to find that our suffering is more than they can bear and leave, once again.
~More... after this short break...~
Have you ever wanted to speak leet? Did you know that leet was invented in the early 1980s within the BBS, allowing leet users to access special files and chat rooms, like archives of pirated software, pornography, or text files documenting topics such as how to construct explosives and manufacture illegal drugs.
The use of leet was to defeat those damn irritating chat filters and those damn system operators from forbidding us to speak about forbidden topics. But nowadays, leet is used by those damn maple noobs, thinking they're so high class and all... pfft...
There are countless different suffix in leet. the -xor, the -age, the -ness, the -t, and the -&. Pointers in leet is to use as little alphabets as humanly possible, and also to use as bad grammer as possible.
Also use emphasis on the majority of your words, like OMGWTF!1!1?// or STFU!1!11 ROFL!!1!
Notice that I used a mixture of 1s and !s. Another point of leet is that you should be as good with your hands as baboons are good with logarithms. So have fun! And customize your words!
And then we have sentence length. The longer and more confusing your sentence is, the more leet it is. Let's say, just take "Austin rocks" is in plain english and is weaker than "Austin r0xx0rz", which again, is weaker than "/\u571N is t3h r0xx0rz" and which is by far weaker than "OMFG D00d /\u571N is t3h UBER 1337 R0XX0RZ".
All in all leet is lame and stupid. But fun for confusing your friends.
~And now, back to news...~
The Voices are now preparing hard for concert. With the constant nagging from the higher ups, our committee is working hard in chasing our guys to sing, extending practices. But... for some reason, why are all our girls ('cept a select few) so well endowed? It's really distracting!!
Besides that, the extended practices leave us with little time for dinner, not to mention work... so at times we have to compromise abit. But for our concert, it's worthit.
Tonight's Main Story, "Is Adriana really sane?" These few days, our cute little Adriana has been laughing alot more than scientists originally predicted. Its astounded at the rate she's growing at. Unbelievable!
She's gone so far she's even developed a 4th laugh. An average person has only a total of 1 laugh, and 1 that is faked, which are alot like orgasms, by the way.
But, Adriana has 4 laughs! Amazing! At this rate, she'll get a nobel prize for most number of laughters invented in history ever. But then again, there is a great similarity between her and the rest of the mental patients... which makes us question her sanity, doesn't it? But we love you, and no matter how insane you get, we'll still be there... to make you even worse...
*Cheesy ending music plays...*
I feel that my inspiration for these nowadays are gone... so yea... we might be stopping these soon...
*Drums roll...*
*The stage explodes! Heavy metal rock playing in the background!*
"HEY HEY HEY!! LADIES... AND.... GENTLEMEN!!! I'M BACK!!"
*Sparks fly and stage bursts with explosives once again!*
"ITS ME! THE UNHOLY ONE! AND I'M BACK FROM THE DEAD! TO BRING YOU... ONCE AGAIN... NEWS SPV TONIGHT!" *Crowd roars*
*Large shadow appears behind him. Music changes*
"WEEEELLLLLL! HERE'S THE BIG SHOW!"
*Turns around and screams like a sissy girl*
~-~-~-~-~
He woke up with a start.
"Woah! What a dream! I dreamt I was like a WWE star or something. Hey babe, whatcha doing down there eh?"
The man who spoke was about thirty, of medium height, with fashionably styled brown hair, and very handsome.
He stopped short looking ahead of him, his dark eyes shining as he gazed at the naked girl who had been giving him head under the blanket.
And at the sight of her body, he started to get even harder. It grew to be as thick as her fist, and its length seemed to go on forever as it jutted massively into the air.
She felt weak in the knees, and the snake in her belly squirmed. She wanted to fall down and worship it, wanted to crawl to it and pay it homage. She wanted it deep inside her, all the way, filling her, stretching her, tearing her apart.
She was only keeping her eyes on his fantastic prick, breathing harder as she came close to it. She then flung her arms around his legs, moaning as she nuzzled the gigantic thing against her face.
She kissed it, slid her mouth along its length, licked it with her tongue. She kissed and licked his balls. She wanted it inside her, but she couldn't, it was too big.
So she brought out her Swiss army knife and sliced vertically downwards...
~-~-~-~-~
1337b0y59: A4h!!11! 5HI+ Pis5 phUXOR cUn+!!11!!
t45t3pu55y98: OmGWtF!1! rOPhPHlE5 My WoPHfLE$!!1!
1337boy59: OmFg d00d 1 W@s DRE@Mt Th4T 5UM1 CH00PED MY dC1k 0FFf!11!
t45t3pu55y98: N01 1n +3h R1H9+ mInD'd cHOPPxX0Rx J00R CcoKXX0rX.-.
1337boy59: 1M H@vE tEH 1337 H0t 80d @ND J00 5uX0R!1!!
t45t3pu55y98: j00 5ux L1kE J00R MuM L4MO l0L L0L!1!!
1337boy59: Hey man... look out your window... you see that rock?
t45t3pu55y98: u 5UCh 4 wHor3 4ND... 0w... pHuk u!1!!
~-~-~-~-~
And that was the end of our exciting dream segment of today's News SPV Tonight. Its me, The Unholy One, here to bring you once again, the best kind of humour in the world, the type at your expense. Here we go...
~Tonight's New Headlines~
Sex at FC6. What will becoming of this threesome? Or... be cumming... More updates on this later tonight...
Smokers scared away as choir members scream their lungs out...
During the break, there'd be a special segment on how to speak leet.
Choir is pumped up for concert! But what else is pumping? Long hours at choir makes members compromise dinner. What ever will happen to our dinner time?
And of course, our Main Story, which has been going on for the past millennium, "Is Adriana really sane?" And the many styles of her laughter, another scientific mystery to the likes of mankind.
Sex at FC6? Mastermind Adriana set both P and VP of SP Voices to meet at FC6 early this Monday afternoon. Little did they both know she had so much in stored for them.
Within moments of arriving, the she-devil of a choir member hypnotised both P and VP to talk about sex, with her egging them on. This is some of the live footage.
Kenneth, "That's one hell of a nice sausage you got there. Awesome thing."
Wei Xin, "Yea and that bit off there is the circumcised part eh?"
And just as he bit into his sausage, a voice pipped up, "How bout some water to lubricate it?"
And choke choke sputter sputter. Bits of sausage flying everywhere. Surely it was the cause of this witch.
And for the whole hour they were there, it was nothing but sex talk, till Kenneth left the seat and broke the curse laid upon him. What other deviant plans does our quiet little rat have in store for us? Who knows...
Before choir practice, smokers and drug addicts usually hang outside the dance studio. DUring choir, they always disappear. Scientists have found this weird and did a study on it. The answer was simple. The reason they're leaving is because they cannot take anymore of hearing us singing and run away, to save their ears.
They now believe smoking is a much better alternative to joining the choir because they think their lungs are much less damaged compared to ours. I mean, where else does the phrase, "scream your lungs out" come from?
Also, the reason they're coming back is because their daily lives are so horrible they just want to see people suffering more than them. But then they come only to find that our suffering is more than they can bear and leave, once again.
~More... after this short break...~
Have you ever wanted to speak leet? Did you know that leet was invented in the early 1980s within the BBS, allowing leet users to access special files and chat rooms, like archives of pirated software, pornography, or text files documenting topics such as how to construct explosives and manufacture illegal drugs.
The use of leet was to defeat those damn irritating chat filters and those damn system operators from forbidding us to speak about forbidden topics. But nowadays, leet is used by those damn maple noobs, thinking they're so high class and all... pfft...
There are countless different suffix in leet. the -xor, the -age, the -ness, the -t, and the -&. Pointers in leet is to use as little alphabets as humanly possible, and also to use as bad grammer as possible.
Also use emphasis on the majority of your words, like OMGWTF!1!1?// or STFU!1!11 ROFL!!1!
Notice that I used a mixture of 1s and !s. Another point of leet is that you should be as good with your hands as baboons are good with logarithms. So have fun! And customize your words!
And then we have sentence length. The longer and more confusing your sentence is, the more leet it is. Let's say, just take "Austin rocks" is in plain english and is weaker than "Austin r0xx0rz", which again, is weaker than "/\u571N is t3h r0xx0rz" and which is by far weaker than "OMFG D00d /\u571N is t3h UBER 1337 R0XX0RZ".
All in all leet is lame and stupid. But fun for confusing your friends.
~And now, back to news...~
The Voices are now preparing hard for concert. With the constant nagging from the higher ups, our committee is working hard in chasing our guys to sing, extending practices. But... for some reason, why are all our girls ('cept a select few) so well endowed? It's really distracting!!
Besides that, the extended practices leave us with little time for dinner, not to mention work... so at times we have to compromise abit. But for our concert, it's worthit.
Tonight's Main Story, "Is Adriana really sane?" These few days, our cute little Adriana has been laughing alot more than scientists originally predicted. Its astounded at the rate she's growing at. Unbelievable!
She's gone so far she's even developed a 4th laugh. An average person has only a total of 1 laugh, and 1 that is faked, which are alot like orgasms, by the way.
But, Adriana has 4 laughs! Amazing! At this rate, she'll get a nobel prize for most number of laughters invented in history ever. But then again, there is a great similarity between her and the rest of the mental patients... which makes us question her sanity, doesn't it? But we love you, and no matter how insane you get, we'll still be there... to make you even worse...
*Cheesy ending music plays...*
I feel that my inspiration for these nowadays are gone... so yea... we might be stopping these soon...
Monday
the aftermath of matthew's sort of surprise party.
his present, a red thong, from all of us was left underneath the piano cover for joe to discover it when he opens the cover to play the keys.
uh, not so funny after all. all he went was "what is this?" "whose is it?"
anyway, this post was delayed. not that it matter.
singers from all over the place joined us for practice and also will be performing with us during the september concert. we are sounding better and better. :)
his present, a red thong, from all of us was left underneath the piano cover for joe to discover it when he opens the cover to play the keys.
uh, not so funny after all. all he went was "what is this?" "whose is it?"
anyway, this post was delayed. not that it matter.
singers from all over the place joined us for practice and also will be performing with us during the september concert. we are sounding better and better. :)
SPV Mars on Earth...
TOP SECRET
Its me, The Unholy One, from Sector 69, the invisible behind the scenes people, whom the government secretly gathered. If you have found out how to read this, you have come across something only for the human eye. You never knew this organisation existed, and shall continue so.
The following information will be disclosed to you at your personal risk. You will be decapitated if any of the following information is disclosed to anyone else. And thus with this knowledge, we shall continue. This was a piece of martian data we recovered from the alien crash site, late Sunday 2007. Its read as follows.
I have recovered information for two social phenomenons that occurred on the 29th and 30th of June human time.
Six human specimens was spotted in the structure they called "SP choir clubhouse" after 8pm Earth hours. It was one of the human's yearly celebration of the day of its birth. A weird ritual the humans perform, but nonetheless, excellent data for us.
They started by taking out a cube like structure and dismantling it, to reveal a dark brown coloured object, something they called "cake". With research from the word wide web, I had found that humans enjoyed ingesting cakes, from the cavity located at the bottom of their faces, or more commonly known as the "mouth".
Not knowing it was living or dead, the humans brutally dissected the "cake" into 6 irregular pieces, they pierced it with coloured "toothpicks" and continued this activity where each of them performed something for the main subject. The human they called "Joanna" and "Adriana" made primitive noises called "music" produced by vibrating their vocal chords.
Humans use these "mouth" cavities for various purposes. Ingestion of food, communication, entertainment with words and music, and the female variation uses them for something called "blow job".
And so after the short but excruciating vocal performance by the females, the one called "Wei Xin" pulled out his kept outer skin to show to the rest of the humans. Apparently, it was "funny" to them. "Humor" they call it. The one called "Nicole" then did a mating action called "groping" on the main subject.
Throughout all of this, we did not see any mating, which was unfortunate, but mating "videos" are found throughout the WWW easily, something they classify as "porn". After the groping, human "Matthew" and human "Kenneth" both performed a "belly dance". A weird action which was also classified as funny. Through all of this, the humans took "pictures" , as a remembrance of this occasion. Personally, it was very disturbing to witness.
After the "cake", the human "Kenneth" presented sacrifices to "Matthew" called "presents". It was a simple piece of processed wood and a weird looking piece of outer skin called "g-string". For what purpose it serves, we don't know yet, but its definitely not for protection.
What followed were many pointless activities called "games" and more ingestion of food. A total of 2 Earth hours were spent there before they headed back to their dens, or "homes", they call it.
END OF PART 1
They then soon gathered at "Matthew's place" after about an hour Earth time to "hang out". Although they did do it outdoors, we so no hanging of any sort.
They performed another ritual, which was that each were to consume large amounts of ethanol mixed with various other liquids. Ethanol is an Earth based liquid which addles the mind and kills at large quantities. No one knows why they consume it, but they enjoyed it quite abit. While they were "getting high", they played with "cards", that were once again processed wood.
And though this activity was limited, they spent a much greater time doing this. And at the end of the day, when they were finally exhausted, they all settled back to rest and recover for the next day.
And so, the question is, "Is Earth a worthy place to conquer?" The answer is no. Humans are illogical, senseless, and disgusting to every extent. But its in their little bit of weirdness that makes them so enjoyable to watch. Let us martians leave them alone in peace for this day. In all that excitement, they deserve just one more day of relaxation.
And so, this is what was recovered. Aside from that, I would like to apologise for the form of today's post and not being able to make it entertaining. It was meant to be a secret, and the only way to pull it off was to make it logical. For logic is the natural enemy of humour. And with logic, entertainment is god damned near impossible. And for now, its just me, The Unholy One, signing off... I'm really tired...
Its me, The Unholy One, from Sector 69, the invisible behind the scenes people, whom the government secretly gathered. If you have found out how to read this, you have come across something only for the human eye. You never knew this organisation existed, and shall continue so.
The following information will be disclosed to you at your personal risk. You will be decapitated if any of the following information is disclosed to anyone else. And thus with this knowledge, we shall continue. This was a piece of martian data we recovered from the alien crash site, late Sunday 2007. Its read as follows.
I have recovered information for two social phenomenons that occurred on the 29th and 30th of June human time.
Six human specimens was spotted in the structure they called "SP choir clubhouse" after 8pm Earth hours. It was one of the human's yearly celebration of the day of its birth. A weird ritual the humans perform, but nonetheless, excellent data for us.
They started by taking out a cube like structure and dismantling it, to reveal a dark brown coloured object, something they called "cake". With research from the word wide web, I had found that humans enjoyed ingesting cakes, from the cavity located at the bottom of their faces, or more commonly known as the "mouth".
Not knowing it was living or dead, the humans brutally dissected the "cake" into 6 irregular pieces, they pierced it with coloured "toothpicks" and continued this activity where each of them performed something for the main subject. The human they called "Joanna" and "Adriana" made primitive noises called "music" produced by vibrating their vocal chords.
Humans use these "mouth" cavities for various purposes. Ingestion of food, communication, entertainment with words and music, and the female variation uses them for something called "blow job".
And so after the short but excruciating vocal performance by the females, the one called "Wei Xin" pulled out his kept outer skin to show to the rest of the humans. Apparently, it was "funny" to them. "Humor" they call it. The one called "Nicole" then did a mating action called "groping" on the main subject.
Throughout all of this, we did not see any mating, which was unfortunate, but mating "videos" are found throughout the WWW easily, something they classify as "porn". After the groping, human "Matthew" and human "Kenneth" both performed a "belly dance". A weird action which was also classified as funny. Through all of this, the humans took "pictures" , as a remembrance of this occasion. Personally, it was very disturbing to witness.
After the "cake", the human "Kenneth" presented sacrifices to "Matthew" called "presents". It was a simple piece of processed wood and a weird looking piece of outer skin called "g-string". For what purpose it serves, we don't know yet, but its definitely not for protection.
What followed were many pointless activities called "games" and more ingestion of food. A total of 2 Earth hours were spent there before they headed back to their dens, or "homes", they call it.
END OF PART 1
They then soon gathered at "Matthew's place" after about an hour Earth time to "hang out". Although they did do it outdoors, we so no hanging of any sort.
They performed another ritual, which was that each were to consume large amounts of ethanol mixed with various other liquids. Ethanol is an Earth based liquid which addles the mind and kills at large quantities. No one knows why they consume it, but they enjoyed it quite abit. While they were "getting high", they played with "cards", that were once again processed wood.
And though this activity was limited, they spent a much greater time doing this. And at the end of the day, when they were finally exhausted, they all settled back to rest and recover for the next day.
And so, the question is, "Is Earth a worthy place to conquer?" The answer is no. Humans are illogical, senseless, and disgusting to every extent. But its in their little bit of weirdness that makes them so enjoyable to watch. Let us martians leave them alone in peace for this day. In all that excitement, they deserve just one more day of relaxation.
And so, this is what was recovered. Aside from that, I would like to apologise for the form of today's post and not being able to make it entertaining. It was meant to be a secret, and the only way to pull it off was to make it logical. For logic is the natural enemy of humour. And with logic, entertainment is god damned near impossible. And for now, its just me, The Unholy One, signing off... I'm really tired...
Special Midnight Bulletin...
Due to some Adriana difficulties... we had to reschedule our usual posts on Friday to today. Not to mention that during this programme, there would be an intermission for a dramatic pause in between news. And with that, let's start our SPV Midnight News Report! Special Edition!
This is The Unholy One reporting on Friday's news first! This will be the longest edition as we're reporting for two days. And by god, I tell you now, it'll be an exciting adventure!
I was actually paid to say that. To tell the truth, you would find more action and excitment in expired bread. So yea. Hang on to your seats at all times.
And just a gentle reminder. No hands and legs out of the vehicle at any time. No outside food and drinks allowed. No F.O.C. water can be served, but distilled water can be bought at 0.50 dollars from our friendly shemale waitresses.
Choir turn up bad again! Is this the first of a rebellion? How will the choir handle this?
Matthew returns. Not batman, but Matthew. Is this good news or good news for the choir? Who knows...
Inspirational talk from president drives our weekly newscaster nuts! How is The Unholy One gonna handle it?
Damn Friday's news is short. Was there really that little on Friday?
Anyways...
Choir turn up bad again! What's wrong with you people!? Its the freaking hols guys! Come sing! And then enjoy macs! I just don't get how you guys can be so impassionate about this! God damn it my english sucks. Is it impassionate? Unpassionate? Depassionate? I think its "un".
Anyhow, really... try to make it to practices! We can't sing without you. I mean, technically, we can. But you guys, who are not coming, gotta come! Its not fair for those who are not interested, yet still come, namely... *ahem* but... I mean, come on... there's life in't, man!
The final episode of Matthew's Corner/Wall, after this trailer...
Matthew! Na na na na na na na na na Matthew! And his sidekick, tummy!
"Tummy, to the Fat Cave! In the Fat Mobile!"
"Holy bacon bits, Matthew! Its Chocolate Sundae!"
"Let's get'em, tummy, before he destroys Gotham City with his hot fudge gun!"
WHAM! BAM! ALAKAZAM! CHOW! SOCK! SHOE! CHEW! GULP! SWALLOW! DON'T SPIT! AND I REALLY CAN'T THINK OF ANYMORE!
"Alright Matthew! We did it!"
"Good job tummy! We totally devoured Chocolate Sundae!"
All this and more, on the next episode of "Matthew Returns"...
Back to news. Matthew really returns. With german chocolate~! Sugar high choir members reach new heights by singing really high with Matthew this friday! And keychains! One for each of us! How lovely! So lo-ve-ly! And finally we can get someone to play the piano! Extra bonus! Great for choir! And thats all for Matthew's corner!
And last for Friday's News! President comes up with First Ever Official Post for choir blog. In his post he stated many things that touched my heart. So true. So true. By being so sentimentally frank, he had touched the philosophical side in me. It was a heartwarming thing to witness. So go read it! It's the post(s) above, yea?
Going on to Saturday's News, after these short messages...
Did you know... that in recent surveys, 3 out of 4 people in today's society make up 75% of our total population!? That is really low. Society have thought of a brand new way of increasing this huge number.
And after decades of experiment, they found out that the key, was in Vitamins B, E, and beta-carotene! Enriched breads and cereals, pork, oysters, green peas, and lima beans are good sources for B. Vitamin E is found in wheat and watermelons. Beta-carotene is definitely in carrots.
This product was made by the Boys Recreational Experiments At Subway Toilets organisation, or BREAST for short. These youngs kids spent hours and hours of research, and finally came up with something they call Baaaa~ Irregular Growth, or BIG, for short.
This product actually contains all the vitamins and nutrients concentrated into small little pills. It enhances the development of the upper torso areas of both men and women. In other words, bigger boobs.
Thus, when the person is better endowed, we have a three people in one! They will be so large, you can even name them, dress them up! Buy them toys! And so, 3 out of 4 people would make up, instead, 300% of our population! Isn't that amazing!?
This is so as 3 people is 1, and the 4 person is one third of a person. Therefore, 1 divided 1/3 is 3. Thus, 300%!
So call us now! At 1800-BIG-BOOBS. That's 1800-BIG-BOOBS. Order now, and you'll even recieve 2 limited edition eye patches! What for? You'll know soon enough when they don't have your bra size. Call us today! And increase our population number!
Backwards is advertistment this! Today choir the join! People of assortments all have we! This wrote who one the like just! Now join!
This Summer, from the makers of the album "I don't shoot blanks", with their hit single, "I shot at you, but where's the baby?", brings to you, a whole new level of song writing, with their new album, "Love hits deluxe! Strawberry flavour"
With the old love hit, "My butt will go on"
"Eargh, argh, no matter how far, I believe, that my butt can, go on..."
And of course, who can forget, "Jizz in the bottle"
"I've got jizz in the bottle baby, but its old and its getting runny..."
Their new hit single, "What I've done"
"Don't let herpies come, and bork away, what I've done..."
So call now, only at $19.99! How we give you the one cent back? We split 5 cents into fifths! Easy as pie! So call now, and our first one million buyers will recieve a limited edition shit-brown neon polo T-shirt, with the words, "I suck... very well, so rape me!" written behind! Perfect for large parties of 5 men and more! Bukkake celebration is on if you're one on ten. Enjoy!
Tired of sitting at home watching boring TV? Reading too many blog posts in a day? Feel really exhausted studying for MSTs? Well this is it for you!
A new, revolutionary idea. Lick your butthole! Do you know why dogs are so happy all the time? Because they lick their buttholes! Scientists have realised that licking your own butthole is a way of asserting yourself and raising your self considence!
If you can lick your butthole, it shows that you have the flexibility of that of a jellyfish, and that you, are in control, of your life. Now turn to the person next to you and say, "You really should lick your butthole when you get home!"
Its new and in! Lick your butthole! But why stop at yours? Lick your friends' buttholes! And experience a whole new level of tasting! So why tarry? Lick a butthole today.
Licking buttholes come in different shapes and sizes. Taste may vary from time to time. Experience might change during online licking. Batteries not included. Extra buttholes and tongues sold seperately.
Is your life dull? Tired of staying at home all the time? Then come and try "Best Interest To Customers Health" Airlines! With state of the art wooden wings, refreshing open windows, comfortable stone seats, blind pilots, and really pretty butch air stewardesses in corsets, we offer only the best, to our customers! So come on down, and take off with us!
And finally, on to Saturday's News...
A 4 way Date? Can Jet-lagged Matthew handle this outing without feeling that its afternoon when its late at night? Will Adriana knock herself out by walking into a wall? Can Nicole hold anymore pee? And will Kenneth... er... be abit more normal? Find out more...
Voices members found in Toys R' Us. Are they really just a bunch of men-child? Who really knows? Also to be continued in sports...
In sports, Voices members found shoving themselves into a kid's fire engine. Find out more on this gruelling event...
The News Of The Century! Adriana seems smarter! Why is this so!? It's almost physically impossible! Find out more about this major event... soon...
As we come back to our young heroes, Sir Matthew had just returned from lands of far away, and requested for our party to follow him on this brave quest to gather down at the Lands of Orchard and communicate.
As Sir Matthew and young Zena-Adriana met up 2 hours after noon, they occupied themselves with a fresh brew of tea and lots of jargon. Kenneth the Mage headed to the centre of epic to join forces after he finished with his classes from the grand priests at Yamaha. As the party had grown large enough to travel, our brave youngs heroes trudged onwards.
Facing great winds and mobs of civilians, they travelled vast distances to the hardest stone in town, at the place called Hard Rock Cafe. Soon after they met Nicole the Witch and headed for dinner.
They went through countless dungeons and found the Secret Recipe. Just like the Holy Grail, it was a person, not a cup, the Secret Recipe, was a restaurant, not a piece of paper. Undaunted by this discovery, they ordered as much as they deemed possible with the amount of currency in their armor. After realising that the food really sucked, they finished and took a rocket to outer space, to... Star... bucks...
And as they landed on this unknown new territory, they realised, it too, wasnt a star, nor a buck, but a cafe. And went on with Mochas and Machis... Before they headed home, each to their separate clans, to rest up, for their next great adventure, which would only happen, some other day.
Voices members found in Toys R' Us watching a rubick cube video for ten whole minutes! Looking through barbie dolls and playing with basic neon balls, are our Voices nothing but children? How old are they? Gosh, an amazing sight to see 4 fairly grown people, playing with balls. Unimaginable!
What's next? Pacifiers and milk powder? How will we survive, in a society, where grown people play with kids' toys? Quite well, actually...
Soon after they were found wrestling with a fire engine. This fire engine was for kids, but they didn't notice its size. As one after another jumped into that tiny fire engine, they laughed and laughed and laughed, as their friend was saddistically twisting his/her arms and legs in ways never before thought possible just to fit into that small fire engine. Now that's called entertainment.
Passerbys stared and young kids cried. How is it so? Well, their little fire engine was suddenly occupied for someone twice as normally large and pictures were taken. A jolly good time, but where did our dignity go to?
Adriana has become smarter. What contradiction. Apparently, anytime one says Adriana, it has to be at least seven words away from the word smart, intellegent, or clever. That's the standard rule. But apparently we have to suspend that rule as just for today, she seemed clevererer than us. Cause she's clever, and we're cleverer. Thus when she's cleverer than us, she's clevererer.
How is it that she figured out her handphone didn't turn into paper? How did she know there wasn't a real phone call? How did she know Nicole wanted an ice cold Mocha?
What's happening? Is the world coming to an end? What went wrong? Something must've gone wrong today. What powers of stupidity does she have? Has all her stupidity reached us? Have we really become so dumb? More, next week.
And thats all for today's special episode. We hope you've enjoyed it, because there isn't one next monday.
*lifts "Aww" cardboard to audience*
And so, thank you and good night. It's me, signing off...
This is The Unholy One reporting on Friday's news first! This will be the longest edition as we're reporting for two days. And by god, I tell you now, it'll be an exciting adventure!
I was actually paid to say that. To tell the truth, you would find more action and excitment in expired bread. So yea. Hang on to your seats at all times.
And just a gentle reminder. No hands and legs out of the vehicle at any time. No outside food and drinks allowed. No F.O.C. water can be served, but distilled water can be bought at 0.50 dollars from our friendly shemale waitresses.
Choir turn up bad again! Is this the first of a rebellion? How will the choir handle this?
Matthew returns. Not batman, but Matthew. Is this good news or good news for the choir? Who knows...
Inspirational talk from president drives our weekly newscaster nuts! How is The Unholy One gonna handle it?
Damn Friday's news is short. Was there really that little on Friday?
Anyways...
Choir turn up bad again! What's wrong with you people!? Its the freaking hols guys! Come sing! And then enjoy macs! I just don't get how you guys can be so impassionate about this! God damn it my english sucks. Is it impassionate? Unpassionate? Depassionate? I think its "un".
Anyhow, really... try to make it to practices! We can't sing without you. I mean, technically, we can. But you guys, who are not coming, gotta come! Its not fair for those who are not interested, yet still come, namely... *ahem* but... I mean, come on... there's life in't, man!
The final episode of Matthew's Corner/Wall, after this trailer...
Matthew! Na na na na na na na na na Matthew! And his sidekick, tummy!
"Tummy, to the Fat Cave! In the Fat Mobile!"
"Holy bacon bits, Matthew! Its Chocolate Sundae!"
"Let's get'em, tummy, before he destroys Gotham City with his hot fudge gun!"
WHAM! BAM! ALAKAZAM! CHOW! SOCK! SHOE! CHEW! GULP! SWALLOW! DON'T SPIT! AND I REALLY CAN'T THINK OF ANYMORE!
"Alright Matthew! We did it!"
"Good job tummy! We totally devoured Chocolate Sundae!"
All this and more, on the next episode of "Matthew Returns"...
Back to news. Matthew really returns. With german chocolate~! Sugar high choir members reach new heights by singing really high with Matthew this friday! And keychains! One for each of us! How lovely! So lo-ve-ly! And finally we can get someone to play the piano! Extra bonus! Great for choir! And thats all for Matthew's corner!
And last for Friday's News! President comes up with First Ever Official Post for choir blog. In his post he stated many things that touched my heart. So true. So true. By being so sentimentally frank, he had touched the philosophical side in me. It was a heartwarming thing to witness. So go read it! It's the post(s) above, yea?
Going on to Saturday's News, after these short messages...
Did you know... that in recent surveys, 3 out of 4 people in today's society make up 75% of our total population!? That is really low. Society have thought of a brand new way of increasing this huge number.
And after decades of experiment, they found out that the key, was in Vitamins B, E, and beta-carotene! Enriched breads and cereals, pork, oysters, green peas, and lima beans are good sources for B. Vitamin E is found in wheat and watermelons. Beta-carotene is definitely in carrots.
This product was made by the Boys Recreational Experiments At Subway Toilets organisation, or BREAST for short. These youngs kids spent hours and hours of research, and finally came up with something they call Baaaa~ Irregular Growth, or BIG, for short.
This product actually contains all the vitamins and nutrients concentrated into small little pills. It enhances the development of the upper torso areas of both men and women. In other words, bigger boobs.
Thus, when the person is better endowed, we have a three people in one! They will be so large, you can even name them, dress them up! Buy them toys! And so, 3 out of 4 people would make up, instead, 300% of our population! Isn't that amazing!?
This is so as 3 people is 1, and the 4 person is one third of a person. Therefore, 1 divided 1/3 is 3. Thus, 300%!
So call us now! At 1800-BIG-BOOBS. That's 1800-BIG-BOOBS. Order now, and you'll even recieve 2 limited edition eye patches! What for? You'll know soon enough when they don't have your bra size. Call us today! And increase our population number!
Backwards is advertistment this! Today choir the join! People of assortments all have we! This wrote who one the like just! Now join!
This Summer, from the makers of the album "I don't shoot blanks", with their hit single, "I shot at you, but where's the baby?", brings to you, a whole new level of song writing, with their new album, "Love hits deluxe! Strawberry flavour"
With the old love hit, "My butt will go on"
"Eargh, argh, no matter how far, I believe, that my butt can, go on..."
And of course, who can forget, "Jizz in the bottle"
"I've got jizz in the bottle baby, but its old and its getting runny..."
Their new hit single, "What I've done"
"Don't let herpies come, and bork away, what I've done..."
So call now, only at $19.99! How we give you the one cent back? We split 5 cents into fifths! Easy as pie! So call now, and our first one million buyers will recieve a limited edition shit-brown neon polo T-shirt, with the words, "I suck... very well, so rape me!" written behind! Perfect for large parties of 5 men and more! Bukkake celebration is on if you're one on ten. Enjoy!
Tired of sitting at home watching boring TV? Reading too many blog posts in a day? Feel really exhausted studying for MSTs? Well this is it for you!
A new, revolutionary idea. Lick your butthole! Do you know why dogs are so happy all the time? Because they lick their buttholes! Scientists have realised that licking your own butthole is a way of asserting yourself and raising your self considence!
If you can lick your butthole, it shows that you have the flexibility of that of a jellyfish, and that you, are in control, of your life. Now turn to the person next to you and say, "You really should lick your butthole when you get home!"
Its new and in! Lick your butthole! But why stop at yours? Lick your friends' buttholes! And experience a whole new level of tasting! So why tarry? Lick a butthole today.
Licking buttholes come in different shapes and sizes. Taste may vary from time to time. Experience might change during online licking. Batteries not included. Extra buttholes and tongues sold seperately.
Is your life dull? Tired of staying at home all the time? Then come and try "Best Interest To Customers Health" Airlines! With state of the art wooden wings, refreshing open windows, comfortable stone seats, blind pilots, and really pretty butch air stewardesses in corsets, we offer only the best, to our customers! So come on down, and take off with us!
And finally, on to Saturday's News...
A 4 way Date? Can Jet-lagged Matthew handle this outing without feeling that its afternoon when its late at night? Will Adriana knock herself out by walking into a wall? Can Nicole hold anymore pee? And will Kenneth... er... be abit more normal? Find out more...
Voices members found in Toys R' Us. Are they really just a bunch of men-child? Who really knows? Also to be continued in sports...
In sports, Voices members found shoving themselves into a kid's fire engine. Find out more on this gruelling event...
The News Of The Century! Adriana seems smarter! Why is this so!? It's almost physically impossible! Find out more about this major event... soon...
As we come back to our young heroes, Sir Matthew had just returned from lands of far away, and requested for our party to follow him on this brave quest to gather down at the Lands of Orchard and communicate.
As Sir Matthew and young Zena-Adriana met up 2 hours after noon, they occupied themselves with a fresh brew of tea and lots of jargon. Kenneth the Mage headed to the centre of epic to join forces after he finished with his classes from the grand priests at Yamaha. As the party had grown large enough to travel, our brave youngs heroes trudged onwards.
Facing great winds and mobs of civilians, they travelled vast distances to the hardest stone in town, at the place called Hard Rock Cafe. Soon after they met Nicole the Witch and headed for dinner.
They went through countless dungeons and found the Secret Recipe. Just like the Holy Grail, it was a person, not a cup, the Secret Recipe, was a restaurant, not a piece of paper. Undaunted by this discovery, they ordered as much as they deemed possible with the amount of currency in their armor. After realising that the food really sucked, they finished and took a rocket to outer space, to... Star... bucks...
And as they landed on this unknown new territory, they realised, it too, wasnt a star, nor a buck, but a cafe. And went on with Mochas and Machis... Before they headed home, each to their separate clans, to rest up, for their next great adventure, which would only happen, some other day.
Voices members found in Toys R' Us watching a rubick cube video for ten whole minutes! Looking through barbie dolls and playing with basic neon balls, are our Voices nothing but children? How old are they? Gosh, an amazing sight to see 4 fairly grown people, playing with balls. Unimaginable!
What's next? Pacifiers and milk powder? How will we survive, in a society, where grown people play with kids' toys? Quite well, actually...
Soon after they were found wrestling with a fire engine. This fire engine was for kids, but they didn't notice its size. As one after another jumped into that tiny fire engine, they laughed and laughed and laughed, as their friend was saddistically twisting his/her arms and legs in ways never before thought possible just to fit into that small fire engine. Now that's called entertainment.
Passerbys stared and young kids cried. How is it so? Well, their little fire engine was suddenly occupied for someone twice as normally large and pictures were taken. A jolly good time, but where did our dignity go to?
Adriana has become smarter. What contradiction. Apparently, anytime one says Adriana, it has to be at least seven words away from the word smart, intellegent, or clever. That's the standard rule. But apparently we have to suspend that rule as just for today, she seemed clevererer than us. Cause she's clever, and we're cleverer. Thus when she's cleverer than us, she's clevererer.
How is it that she figured out her handphone didn't turn into paper? How did she know there wasn't a real phone call? How did she know Nicole wanted an ice cold Mocha?
What's happening? Is the world coming to an end? What went wrong? Something must've gone wrong today. What powers of stupidity does she have? Has all her stupidity reached us? Have we really become so dumb? More, next week.
And thats all for today's special episode. We hope you've enjoyed it, because there isn't one next monday.
*lifts "Aww" cardboard to audience*
And so, thank you and good night. It's me, signing off...
In the Spirit of Music
Before I begin, let me first mention- This is my actual first post on the club blog. Everything else before-hand, and what follows is for fun.
This is Wei Xin writing here, and I intend to write something... Meaningful. In the least.
~
This first post that I'll be making is actually all that I would like my fellow a Cappella members to read through, and seriously consider in the coming months of work towards our september concert.
The following are my thoughts, my concepts and my decisions I have made in light of our club. Also, some dreams and aspirations for polytechnics in general.
~
a Cappella; literally meaning, in the manner of a chapel. Unaccompanied music, created through the use of voices that we are born with. Voices we learn to use, voices that will live with us from the day we are born to the day we die.
So; what is an a Cappella group? I've said that we want to gear ourselves towards being a contemporary a Cappella group, but lo and behold, we find ourselves singing more formal, choral works!
Before I get ahead of myself, forget about the concert we're preparing for.
Forget that our attendance is pretty pitiful on a constant basis.
Forget everything else, and remember your own concept of music, your concept of musicianship.
How many of us call ourselves musicians before anything else? How many of us live for music? An honest question we have to ask ourselves- as a cappella members, as singers, what are we in it for?
Let me explain from the point I'm most familiar with- myself.
I only seriously started in music last year. 2006 was an interesting year, such that I was singing with Xing! and playing in a worship band as well. After I started training with Joe, I ended up spending at least 4 days a week practicing one form of music or the other. I trained with the Ngee Ann Polytechnic a Cappella group. I performed with the old SPChoir during Christmas, had a band gig in december as well.
But in everything, there's always been this urge to go further with my music. Not so much in just learning new songs, but innovating, expressing and developing something I can call my own. Identity, some may call it. I call it Music.
Music's in life- there's no doubt about it. All our lives, we try to find the melody in our own paths. There's a melody out there we need to find, and hopefully, we'll find someone who'll sing his or her own melody as well- all the while complementing our own. But that's subject for a later post.
So what do we, or at least, what do I want to do in the Voices?
I want to create a place where musicians can come together and share their voices to create music together. I want to create a place where everyone can give and take, where everyone can share this essence of music together, and learn something to carry with them for the rest of their lives.
We're fresh- true. We're ambitious- true. We're able- also true. Heck, we're still young- there's alot we can do without KOing halfway.
There's more to write, but I can't form it at the moment.
At the end of things; here's what I would like to say-
We may not be there yet, but we'll get there someday. All we need to do is stick together, weather the bad times, and enjoy the music we make. Come back, keep coming back, and we'll make music together.
This is Wei Xin writing here, and I intend to write something... Meaningful. In the least.
~
This first post that I'll be making is actually all that I would like my fellow a Cappella members to read through, and seriously consider in the coming months of work towards our september concert.
The following are my thoughts, my concepts and my decisions I have made in light of our club. Also, some dreams and aspirations for polytechnics in general.
~
a Cappella; literally meaning, in the manner of a chapel. Unaccompanied music, created through the use of voices that we are born with. Voices we learn to use, voices that will live with us from the day we are born to the day we die.
So; what is an a Cappella group? I've said that we want to gear ourselves towards being a contemporary a Cappella group, but lo and behold, we find ourselves singing more formal, choral works!
Before I get ahead of myself, forget about the concert we're preparing for.
Forget that our attendance is pretty pitiful on a constant basis.
Forget everything else, and remember your own concept of music, your concept of musicianship.
How many of us call ourselves musicians before anything else? How many of us live for music? An honest question we have to ask ourselves- as a cappella members, as singers, what are we in it for?
Let me explain from the point I'm most familiar with- myself.
I only seriously started in music last year. 2006 was an interesting year, such that I was singing with Xing! and playing in a worship band as well. After I started training with Joe, I ended up spending at least 4 days a week practicing one form of music or the other. I trained with the Ngee Ann Polytechnic a Cappella group. I performed with the old SPChoir during Christmas, had a band gig in december as well.
But in everything, there's always been this urge to go further with my music. Not so much in just learning new songs, but innovating, expressing and developing something I can call my own. Identity, some may call it. I call it Music.
Music's in life- there's no doubt about it. All our lives, we try to find the melody in our own paths. There's a melody out there we need to find, and hopefully, we'll find someone who'll sing his or her own melody as well- all the while complementing our own. But that's subject for a later post.
So what do we, or at least, what do I want to do in the Voices?
I want to create a place where musicians can come together and share their voices to create music together. I want to create a place where everyone can give and take, where everyone can share this essence of music together, and learn something to carry with them for the rest of their lives.
We're fresh- true. We're ambitious- true. We're able- also true. Heck, we're still young- there's alot we can do without KOing halfway.
There's more to write, but I can't form it at the moment.
At the end of things; here's what I would like to say-
We may not be there yet, but we'll get there someday. All we need to do is stick together, weather the bad times, and enjoy the music we make. Come back, keep coming back, and we'll make music together.
I'm not really in the mood... lol...
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It's a FRIDAY!
FRIDAY! WOOTS!
The day where we see each other again other than Monday. But this week is totally different. We see each other practically every day, which in turn, gives us a very good diaphragm workout from all the laughter we have.
Anyway, sectionals started at around 3.30pm? The number of people who turned up today was pitiful. Holiday practices kinda sucks as people either do not turn up or have other commitments. =.= But overall we sound much better as compared to Monday.
It's crazy sometimes when we see each other do some amusing stuff and we end up, or rather I end up, playing along too.
Wei Xin, Nicole and me started chasing each other around the piano during the breaktime. Could not remember what was the reason. Kenneth just sat there serenely playing the piano while the 3 of us are acting crazy.
Lydia finally came to practice. yay!
After the session with Joe ended, the 3 of us walked down to Clementi as usual for food to ensure our survival. Working your diaphragm hard makes you hungry as all your stomach juices gurgles inside. Lots of loud burst of laughter helps too.
We adjourned to Mac for dessert after the main course at Kopitiam. Kenneth's treat. hehe. Sat there and started playing puzzle fighter and defeated Kenneth. Introduced Nicole to the game and for someone who started playing, she was quite good.
Made a move around 10.15pm. All of us are pretty subdued after such a long day. well, thats all for today.
god, i am so vague with my entries. =.=
The day where we see each other again other than Monday. But this week is totally different. We see each other practically every day, which in turn, gives us a very good diaphragm workout from all the laughter we have.
Anyway, sectionals started at around 3.30pm? The number of people who turned up today was pitiful. Holiday practices kinda sucks as people either do not turn up or have other commitments. =.= But overall we sound much better as compared to Monday.
It's crazy sometimes when we see each other do some amusing stuff and we end up, or rather I end up, playing along too.
Wei Xin, Nicole and me started chasing each other around the piano during the breaktime. Could not remember what was the reason. Kenneth just sat there serenely playing the piano while the 3 of us are acting crazy.
Lydia finally came to practice. yay!
After the session with Joe ended, the 3 of us walked down to Clementi as usual for food to ensure our survival. Working your diaphragm hard makes you hungry as all your stomach juices gurgles inside. Lots of loud burst of laughter helps too.
We adjourned to Mac for dessert after the main course at Kopitiam. Kenneth's treat. hehe. Sat there and started playing puzzle fighter and defeated Kenneth. Introduced Nicole to the game and for someone who started playing, she was quite good.
Made a move around 10.15pm. All of us are pretty subdued after such a long day. well, thats all for today.
god, i am so vague with my entries. =.=
And now... to news spv tonight...
On tonights news headlines!
Leadership camp ends with big bang! But does Voices know what they're in for with unruly VP?
Leadership camp ends with big bang! But does Voices know what they're in for with unruly VP?
Design Datelines are coming in! Do Voices members have what it takes to pull off successfully a great programme booklet?
3 Ms... Many miss Matthew. Who knows what vile and twisted adventures are in store for our young Matthew in Germany? As the rest of his friends remain in Singapore, many sweat for our beloved Matthew. Both in anticipation, and worry.
Main headline story! Dinners have been cut short! Even dissapeared! What will happen to our evening gathering time? Stay tuned for more...
Tonights news! Leadership camp ends today on the 14/6/07, but does it go well for SPV? In the midst of the camp, VP Kenneth Tan volunteered for a simple task and gets more than he asks for!
"Top or Bottom?"
"I suppose he has more tetosterone, by the size of him, but I have substance. I'll be top."
And surprisingly enough, it was related to sex as how monkeys are related to porridge. But a twist came about as Kenneth erupted into a sexual frenzy that left the crowd roaring, but President cowaring.
"We are quite suspectible to sexually deviant behavior..." muttered Kenneth.
"Who's your officer in charge?"
And left stunned and really bewildered, Kenneth left the stage, apologetic.
"You should be sorry, we'll be looking for a new VP if this carries on..."
And so, what would happen? Will Hope find out? Will Kenneth remain VP? Stay tune next week...
And in accounts! The dateline for programme booklets and banners for the end of year concert is tomorrow! What will Voices members do? No shit has come out from this so far, let alone a fart.
Designs have not been approven. Comment from friendly treasurer, Nicole...
"Shit... how...?"
And so you can see, it is really stressful for the Voices members to take on this incredible task! How will we fair against the trial of time? Budget budget budget
Joanna came through with an amazing design. But will it be enough? Who will save the day? Another one to leave you thinking...
And in around the world news! To think we couldn't see further anywhere beyond Matthew's horizon, our beloved student conductor has left the school for holidays in Germany. Somewhere out there is our friend, sitting on a beach, wearing a thong, sipping an ice cold drink, surrounded by pretty German girls, and soaking up the sun.
Oh how we miss our friendly neighbourhood fat man. As we weep and frown in sorrow (apart from Adriana, who is frowning cause something said 10 minutes ago was too confusing...), here are some comments...
"Oh how I miss Matthew..." ~Adriana X2 (She forgot she said it already.)
"We should really throw him a big party when he comes back." ~Kenneth
"Ooh... Matthew in a thong..." ~Nicole
"It seems alot more spacious around here, though." ~Adriana
And so, we can't wait for our old friend(for some of the people), new found friend(for some of the people), used to be friend(for some of the people), and just plain annoying guy(and for some other people) to return from a blissful trip from somewhere far away.
So, from the whole Voices, Matthew, we miss you!!!
And to tonight's headline news! Dinners are dissapearing! The SPV has not had a decent evening gathering for around three weeks now! What happened? Who can uncover what mystery that lies beyond the thick fog of confusion that is going on around here.
Is it because of Matthew's absence? Because Wei Xin keeps going to practice? Because Nicole keeps drawing everyone? Becuase Kenneth is too sexually frustrated? Or is it just because Adriana can't make up her mind??
Or maybe it was becuase that martians landed and broke our space and time continueem which significantly altered our personalities to dislike dinners. Personally, I think its the martians...
And so, we have once again solved nothing, and given everything else to think about. Till next week, here's Kenneth, signing off... beep... beep...
God damn... I'm so tired... oh? Its still on? SHit... *white noise and blank screen*
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