I'm so... freakin' pissed... I'm gonna have a BF...

Its me... The Unholy One... to look at life at ways you've never imagined... let's have a look at what we've got for tonight's short stories...


Adriana has fun with badminton!

Free sushi!

And no more Clementi meetings!

Bad attendence!


Adriana playing badminton turns really bad (pun purposefully put there, though totally out of context). Here's an interview with Kenneth, who saw everything.

"And so, I was minding my own business right? And I looked over, and I saw a person wearing a black sweater, see? And so I thought, 'I think that's Adriana!'. Right? And so I stand there, and wait to see what happens, cause I couldn't see her face.

And so these two guys, presumably her friends, said something, and then, I finally knew it was her, cause she, like, burst out laughing so hard she lost her balance, shrieking and shit. And I was like, 'shit, thats whacked man.' And so I like, stand there, and watch her play? And she was totally into it! She was literally flying about the court. Like, more than half the time without her feet on the ground.

It was really disturbing to witness..."

And there you have it, folks. A rare sight indeed. And it looked like her flying about paid off. And hour later, when she headed back to the clubhouse, she stank like putrid rotten eggs, because her feet were rotting off from this blister the size of my balls. Seriously! And she just hollared and hollared in pain. Serves her right.

That's it for this part, cause I really wanna talk about bad attendence.


Free sushi at Koufu! Every day, or night if you will, around 8pm, the japanese food store at koufu closes. And once they pack, they would have to throw away their food! Ain't that great? So Adri, Nicole, and Ken got free food from there Monday night.

So here's what we'll do. During dinner break at our choir meetings, we all camp out in front of the jap store. And wait for it to close, and then BAM! WHAM! We steal all her food! Great, ain't it...


Yes and there is no more meetings at clementi either... I really need to pee... let's just get this done and over with...


God... look you slacking phucktards... all of us, not excluding anyone, maybe perhaps Joe, has work to do. We all go to the same god damned poly everyday you stinking buttholes...

Look... if this carries on any further, I swear to god I'll knock your skulls in the next time you don't come... I'd burn your HDB flat down... and murder your whole family...

I'd erase you from the very pages of history. I'd pull out your nose hair and plug your noses with rotten eggs. I'd stuff tabasco up your asses, and I'd plug that with your handphones. I'd give you wedgies so much you could spread your underwear across your master bed. I'd spit on my hands and rub them into your ears, and your ears will be gooey and shit.

Then I'd force you to eat the sushi from that Jap store from Koufu. Ew... maybe not... that's abit too gross...

And those are just starters... and when I'm finally done, you'd really rue the day your dad looked at your mum with a twinkle in his eye...

So come to choir! And don't get killed! It'd hurt you alot more than it would hurt me. Come on down now! For more information call 1800-dont-kill-me... thats right... each call costs S$3.00 a minute...

~-~-~-~-~

Bloopers...

And its me, once again, The Unholy One, looking at people's shorts and stories... shit... i just said that... ~beep~

I'd erase you from the pages of the history text book, even Harry Potter would look at me and go, "Wow! Magic!"... ~beep~

And of course we got free food from the jap store... but honestly, the store owner probably pays people to eat her food... *Whack* Ow god damn it... that hurt... ~beep~

And then I'd whip you... and make you beg for mercy... and then I'd put a strap on... *Whack Whack Whack*... *Smack*... Okay! Okay! I'm sorry... got carried away... ~beep~

Oh she smelled lovely... yea... that rotting blister did too... *Smack*... just because you guys don't have a fetish for smelly... *WHACK! SMACK! SOCK! BAM!* Urgh... seriously now... *THUD* *Crumples to the floor* ~beep~

And then I'd pour hot wax all over your body... Ooh... Kinky... Er... what are you doing with that knife... stop... look... I'm not playing anymore... no... no... NO... NOOOOOO!!!! *Silence* ~beep~